All about Bell

SO told his sister all about Bell!

He was always going on and on how he would not tell her about Bell but today, he sms me to say that he finally told her all about Bell cos he felt it was time for her to know. What a load of crap! Sometimes he can be such a big mouth!

Since he is in such a confessional mood, maybe i can get him to confess more about his sins.

Will "steal" his handphone and blogged about the entire sms chat he had with his sister...

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The dorky chat between SO and his sister. By the time, i got my hand on his phone, his responses were mostly gone. His sister used a lot of sms short form, so proceed at your own understanding. I added in spacing for easy reading. SO is so going to kill me if he found out, but then he did not know I have started blogging again.

The ones in red are my remarks and comments to SO as I read the chat in front of SO.

Sis:
I just went to a famous geomancer to check on Ch's name (her daughter). Count d strokes 2 define d fate.Realise v true.

Dad 1 says: sad separation, stormy weather, hade labor, punishment, hardship, fish on drought land. Mom 1:winter grass, difficulties, sick n weak, loneliness, frost n snow, unable to untilise one's talent.

iWicked: Eh...what talent, I asked SO? She's illiterate and the only thing she knows is housework. She is a great cook and can even make clothes. But her husband refused to let her go out and work. Maybe that's her talent wasted.

Sis:
I calculated 3 of our names strokes. 3 of us all gd.
Yrs say: authority, honesty, understanding, kind, independent, great achievement assured.

iWicked: At this point, SO can see me rolling my eyes.

Sis:
Nt overly superstitious lah. Just 4 xinan. CC (brother) says yrs n his v accurate. Mine says: resourceful n brave, self confidence, leadership, wealth n fame, happiness, god given gd luck.

iWicked: Some women can be so guillible. SO said ...did you read that my bro said his is very true. I can see SO rolling his eyes at this point.

Sis:
CC: virtue, boldness, health, harmony, man of luck, unlimited gd fortune. He's gg paris tis august.

iWicked: That lucky bastard. Always said no money to give his mother or contribute to household funds, got money to go Paris. He even rents a car for $1000 a month. SO rolls his eyes and did not say anything. (meaning he agreed with what I said)

SO:
To tell u frankly, i found your lost dog almost 8 years ago. Still keeping him now. SPCA wanted to put him down. But he's on heavy medication because of fits. Dun tell anyone ok. Now he's old and grouchy. He used to be so meek.

iWicked: That big mouth bitch. Guilty and thus confessed. Anyway, there was some silence on his sister side. SO thought she was too shocked or embarrassed to respond.

Sis:
Oh, me shower just cm out. Yah, shock n move 2 tears. My ill hearted father in law let him go on purpose. Gd thing u kp him bt it must b v v tough on u.

SO:
I know you must have felt bad. This was him around 2001. (He sms her a photo.)

Sis:
What u mean dun tel any1. Why? So u must hv spent alot alot on his medication? Hw frequent he hv his fits? I remembered can b few times a day. So hw u hv time 2 clear his mess.

iWicked: So misleading. I am the one clearing the mess since i am the one always at home.

SO:
Dun want mum to know cos she won't approve of it. Because of his many fits, so sent him to vet. No cure but on daily medication and frequent check up. Everyday must bring him to walk outside to pee before work and after work. Then come home must mop floor cos he pees everywhere.

(SO mms this very old pic of Bell)

iWicked: (Me rolling my eyes) You lying bitch. I am the one mopping the floor every day. Most days twice. You only mopped on weekends. Dun make it as if you are slaving and mopping everyday for your dog and got no life! I am the maid who mop the floor, who mop the urine, clear his shit and feed him while you are at work. And if you misbehaves, I am gonna tell your mama you got the dog your sister abandoned years ago.

Sis:
N u can endure tat 4 so many yrs? Then nw he start 2 bite u hw?

iWicked: Of course, can endure. Got free maid...ME!

SO:
No choice. I learn to clamp his mouth. Think he started biting me after i beat him 2 yrs ago. He never used to bark too. Nowadays, not happy he will growl and bark. He is prone to liver and kidney failure due to medication, so dun think he will live too long though he lived so many years already.

iWicked: Ya...No choice. Anyway, i did not beat him. SO beat him for drinking the urine of our other dog, a bitch and he snapped! Beat as in reprimand him and gave him a curt smack on the mouth area after he was caught drinking urine.
I also have liver and kidney problems. Bitch, you poisoned both of us!

Sis:
He dun bark? I tot he barked n smtimes bite. But u mean al these years you clean d mess everyday n u cn take it?

iWicked: I looked at SO....what mess you have to clean every day? If it was a real child, it would have died long time ago! SO rolled his eyes at this point.

SO:
For many years, he din bark. I tot he was mute. Then he started ti bark about the time i beat him. It's like he suddenly realise he can bark. Ha ha. I can take it because he's a dog and probably doesn't know what he's doing. It's just instinct. Enough about him. Must bring him for walk soon. U rest well. Taking care of kids are not easy too!

iWicked: Actually it sounded worse than it actually is. We dun beat or whipped/caned our dogs. We are NOT pet abusers. Years back, we were more ignorant on the ways to train our dogs. Now we know better. I think they are one of the luckiest pets in the world. Walks everyday. Snacks frequently. Soft bed. Clean floor every day. Clean drinking water daily. Weekly baths. Premium dog food. Lots of hugs and love. What else can a dog ask for?

Sis:
Taking care of a sick dog is much tough! Bt at least knws he's in gd hands. Thks.

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I swear this sms chat really took place and not a figment of my imagination.

The Closet Test

I learnt something new today, from the TV series, "Bones". The question of who loves whom more.

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WYATT: Yes, well, now of course you're flattering me, so obviously I'm helpless. Alright, so, what made you think you should move with him in the first place?

BRENNAN: The closet test.

ANGELA: Over half of his closet is filled with my things.

WYATT: I see, and what about your own closet? It overfloweth with his things, does it?

ANGELA: Uh, no. It doth not.

WYATT: Well then, I suggest you wait until it does, thus rendering you manifest equals. Tabling until that day, the vexed question of who should move in with whom.

Blow the whistle for Foolz

Well...i blew the whistle for Foolz.

Viral infection is not a good answer for her death. Is it really viral infection that attribute to her death? I read that the doctors dun know. So they concluded that that it was a viral infection. Some virus got into her body, destroyed her immune system and attacked her organs.

But could it be Suprim, the acne medication that she was taking for her acne? Suprim, like some medication has its side effects.

FATALITIES ASSOCIATED WITH THE ADMINISTRATION OF SULFONAMIDES, ALTHOUGH RARE, HAVE OCCURRED DUE TO SEVERE REACTIONS, INCLUDING STEVENS-JOHNSON SYNDROME, TOXIC EPIDERMAL NECROLYSIS, FULMINANT HEPATIC NECROSIS, AGRANULOCYTOSIS, APLASTIC ANEMIA AND OTHER BLOOD DYSCRASIAS. SULFAMETHOXAZOLE; TRIMETHOPRIM SHOULD BE DISCONTINUED AT THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF SKIN RASH OR ANY SIGN OF ADVERSE REACTION.

Clinical signs, such as rash, sore throat, fever, arthralgia, cough, shortness of breath, pallor, purpura or jaundice may be early indications of serious reactions. In rare instances a skin rash may be followed by more severe reactions, such as Stevens-Johnson syndrome, toxic epidermal necrolysis, hepatic necrosis or serious blood disorder. Complete blood counts should be done frequently in patients receiving sulfonamides.
http://www.orgyn.com/resources/genrx/D002289.asp

Though i dun know her personally, i am just not satisfied with that answer. So I blew the whistle for Foolz. I dun think she should die without a valid reason. I dun have the resources to investigate her death, so I emailed a newspaper, detailing her death.

Hope that they can find out the real truth or at least create awareness of the risks associated with acne medication. Beauty comes with a price!

Death of a Stranger Part 2

More from DT's blog. I finally found out how JL died. What a horrific way to die!

I attended the wake yesterday. Very sad... Frankly, I felt it's like dream. I can't accept Jimmy's passing on. Honestly, he's too young to go. His Brother told me to whole thing.

Jimmy was depressed before the kidney gall stone operation. He thought of dying and talked about suicide. He was in depression. I don't blame him... Life is very exciting , full of colours, work is good, doing what he does best!! Then got hit with the sickness... who wouldn't be depressed??

He spoke to many people, but none can't fill inthe emptiness he felt. Till one day, his sister suggested that he shld speak to the Lama of the temple. He did. The Lama spent some time with him, talked to him. After the session, Jimmy instantly felt better and didn't talk about suicide anymore before his operation. He began to eat but not much as his stomach hurts each time. He was down to 45kg. Days past, he was feeling better, ready for his operation on 28th May. Operation went well.... came back to his Mom's to recuperate... Then tragedy strike!!! He was up on Saturday morning, took a rag and a pail of water to clean the windows of his Mom's flat. While cleaning the window, he fell....20 storeys down!!!! He fell to his death!!!

He DIDN'T COMMIT SUCIDE!!! ...HE FELL , accident!!!! The police saw his body and his hand was holding the rag tightly on the ground, also saw the pail by the window he was cleaning in his home. NOT SUICIDE!! I repeat .... NOT SUICIDE!!

I don't believe he will do such a thing too!!!

At the wake , Lama disclosed that Jimmy's soul came to visit him. Jimmy told Lama, it was all an accident, he slipped, fell forward and out of the window down 20-storeys.

It was all an accident!! My dear Jimmy, my sad loss, our sad loss!!!

Life is ........unpredictable!!

Live life to the fullest, every moment!!

I admired Jimmy, he planned for his funeral 3 years back, wrote his will too.

All the details and requests in his plans were carried out to his wishes. Lilac table cloth over white. Small flower arrangements on each table. Consisting of white roses, lavender, statis in a small arrangements. Playing his fave music from Barry Manillow. Finally, he wants everyone to be happy, not sad on this day. He wants us to dress colorful!!! Jimmy..... Jimmy....how much I really miss you!!! A good friend and Boss!!!

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Found this blog on JN. I think it was a bit mean, especially the last part. The author is 20 y/o male.
RIP to JN
a local emcee. after losing his voice with thanks to the tonsil operation, he was extremely depressed. labeled among other emcees, as the best in singapore, being able to host for 2hours straight.

gay. and his parents claimed he fell from the 20th floor after wiping the windows.
but theres no signs of falling from a building.

flying dutchman and all my other emcee friends will be attending the wake.

suicide.

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I was reading a new blog, Ga and I came across this posting. This is about JL dated 9th Jun.
This morning, I saw a familiar face in the obituaries section of the paper. It was a face I knew from a long time ago, like when I was in my mid 30s. Yes, how time flies when you least notice it.

He was just someone who had written to me on numerous occasions. For a short period of time, we communicated, mostly, through emails. I knew he was a successful entrepreneur or at least that was what he told me. He also travelled quite often on his job. Somehow, along the way we stopped communicating and went about our own lives. You know, it's one of those things. They never last. I wish I had known him personally but that was as much as I knew of him till today. For some reasons, I never had the chance to meet up with him or got to know him better.

So, when I saw his picture in the obituaries, I felt a tinge of sadness. He was only 39, still so young was all I could think of. It was all the more poignant when I visited his memorial website. I may not know him as a friend but I learned that he was loved by many and his life was anything but ordinary.

Rest in peace, J.

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His death also came out in the papers of Shin Min on 10th Jun 2008. Only saw the headlines online, never read the contents inside. "Well-known local MC plunges to his death."

Rest In Peace, JNL!

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

I came across this funeral poem in the papers last year. Really liked it, but did not have time to note it down then. Came across it again when I was surfing the net today. Maybe I would like to have this engraved on my urn or gravestone. My definite favorite so far!

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.


Another more detailed version:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush.

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

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In fact, there's a whole lot of history behind this poem.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_not_stand_at_my_grave_and_weep

Death of a Foolz

I was lying in bed, surfing the net with my phone. There were no updates in those forums I frequent and so I decided to visit a forum of which I was a regular visitor some time back but not anymore.

Anyway there, the first thing that I came across was this thread about the announcement of a moderator. Her nick was "Foolz". Well, frankly, I do not know her personally but she was someone who was "almost" a full time forum poster. She had thousands of posts in several forums and was popular.

I had read her postings in several threads before and we had sort of chatted online. And there was this announcements on how she passed away on 7th Jun due to viral complications.

She was only 24, much younger than I expected. I always thought she was in her middle or late 20s.

Anyway, as I was curious how she really died. It is rare that someone that young can just drop dead from viral infection. I found out she got a fever, then she had a coma and she just died. Doctors said it was viral infection. Her friends' blog said the doctors did not know what virus it was that caused the infection.

Sigh...It was really unexpected and depressing when someone young die.

I hope that you rest in peace, Foolz.

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Read this from her friend's blog, Lady Silver dated 7th Jun 2008.
........on Thursday, she was found unconscious when her mum tried to wake her up. She was then admitted to hospital and the doctors said she's in coma. I still can't believe and accept because she was still all right few days back, life is so fragile and unpredictable.

I was devastated when I saw Hazel @ ICU yesterday. I cried when I saw her, she was beyond recognition. Her body was bloated by almost 40%, there were a lot of blood on her body. I heard there were internal bleeding. And she was panting heavily, relying on the life machine. The nurses said she's in a very critical condition.........

It's so heartbreaking to see her in that state, I can see she was struggling very hard to breathe, to live..

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Another except from another of her friend's blog, Jolene
I read about how things really weren’t looking good for her… about her dialysis… about her condition not improving… about how the doctors could not diagnose what was wrong with her except that it was a viral infection… about her immune system being very low… Then the positive news came… the stabilisng of her heartbeat… lesser bleeding from her nose and internal organs… the colour from her face coming back… Despite all these, she was still not out of danger yet, but at least it left us more positive. Many of us were praying hard for her to conquer this battle. We were all hoping to see her soon.

I logged off in the wee hours of Saturday morning, feeling glad that things are looking much better and woke up thereafter thinking Hazel would wake up shortly. However on my way to work later in the morning, XXX sms-ed me that Hazel had left us.

It was all too sudden that I really didn’t know what to say. She was healthy just a week before and now God had called her home. Had God made a mistake? Did St Peter write the wrong name in his big book? There must be some mistake somewhere. Hazel would wake up. She would.

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From her friend's blog, Amy
I was told she was having fever for the past 3 days and on 5th June morning, her mum tried to wake her up but there was no response. She was sent to the hospital and upon warded, after some diagnos, the doctor inform the family that she is in coma and most of her internal organs has already failed. Her brain, liver and kidney has failed to function anymore and is bleeding badly inside.

It might be cause by some unknown virus attack which they do not know what is it. When they do not know what virus, they do not know what treatment to give. Oh my god. i was lost for words and it was pretty late so i only visited her the next day which was yesterday.. i heard she even had plans to meet some of my frens on the 6th for lunch and the nite before 5th, she was having slight fever and even met her friends to pass her things. still has cheerful and she looks ok.

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Foolz very last post was on 4th Jun 2008, 12:27 PM
I had fever due to viral infection and had to see a doc. Now stop taking my suprim so that I can take antibiotic for my illness. The doc look quite shock when I show her suprim that Dr Chan gave for skin.

The last time she logged into the forum was 4th June 2008 - 08:29 PM
Her total number of post on the forum was 7,462.

Good bye, Foolz! Rest In Peace!

Death of a Stranger

I was flipping through the papers when i came across a death announcement in the obituary. (Yeah, i read the obituary most days, scanning for faces or names that i recognise. SO said I am crazy and weird.)

It was that of a stranger whom I had saw many times around my vicinity but dun know personally. His name was JNL. He was someone who was flamboyant and I saw him around a few times in his shorts and tight small shirts. And boy, can he sashayed.

I surfed the net for information, curious about how he died.

And I found the blog of DT. DT was a friend and was also my former hairstylist. He cut my hair for a few years until i jumped ship and lost contact. Presently, he's a property agent who also dabbles in hair and makeup services.

Big News came in today (7th june) My Dear friend and boss , JNL passed away at the age of 39+. I was in my office when I got the SMS from Nina at 3pm. My Life stopped, as I read the SMS over and over again. Not believing it!! I picked up my mobile and called her. IT'S TRUE!!!! HE DIED!!! PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING !!! I can't take it any longer, I broke down and cried in my empty office.

Life is so damn Fragile!!! My life crumbled after all these.... is life worth living for?? He is so young!!! How did he die??? Well, I knew he was going for an operation a week back, then back at his Mom's to recuperate. I called several times to check on him. He said he is resting and doing okay. I really didn't expect this to happen to him!!! My Dear Friend Jimmy!!! He is doing so well in his life!! Could have Depression set in ? Yet to find out tomorrow at the wake.

Whip the Bitch!

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Going numb and blind

Today I had two scheduled medical tests at AH. I had complained to the doctor on my previous visit 2 weeks back that my last three little fingers on my left hand were numb. I also told her about the grey black spots that appeared in my vision under bright sunlight.

We arrived bright and early at AH's Clinical Measurement Unit for my nerve tests. There were a few people sitting around waiting their turn. I had arrived earlier than my scheduled appointment and was surprised that when the actual appointment time came, I was shown into a room punctually.

I was greeted by this rather petite lady, whom I later found out to be a medical technologist. Her duties was to perform a series of electrode tests on all my fingers on both my hands to test their nerve functions.

The technologist was quite friendly but eh...there was a certain smell about her. At first, I thought she had body odour, but then later, I realised the smell was coming from her shirt. It was a sourish sweat smell, which took me a while to get used to.

Frankly, I did considered telling her about the smell but I did not cos I really dun know her and she might constitute such frankness as rudeness. Besides, she might feel embarrassed and that could maybe spoilt her day.

If it was someone I know, yeah, I would tell them about their sweat smell or BO or certain smell, so that they could take note and do something about it.

I remembered when I was working as a temp many years back. There was this young girl in the accounts department who had really bad BO. I really hated entering the accounts room cos the room reeked of her sour BO. I asked around why no one told her and how they could have worked in such an environment. The accounts people said that they were used to it and they thought it was rude to tell her she got BO. So no one did. They just held their breath until they got used to it. That was so kind and yet so stupid!

People with BO could not smell their own foul smell. Someone need to tell them so that they are aware of their problem and do something about it. If I have BO, I want to know, so I can do whatever to treat it. So yeah, I will tell most people tactfully, unless I think they cannot handle knowing. Maybe then, I would drop heavy hints.

I am digressing. Anyway, the nerve test took about 3o mins. The medical technologists attached electrodes to each finger and test the nerve reactions as she ran a minor electrical current through them.

I asked her if the results were normal. She said most of my fingers nerves were normal except for the last 2-3 fingers on my left hand. She repeated certain tests on those fingers to verify her results. She told me she could not give me a detailed report. She would submit her findings and her superior would generate a report, which a doctor would explain to me on my next medical appointment.

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My next appointment was at the Ophthalmology and visual science clinic for my eye test. This clinic was crowded and most of the patients were old folks in their 50s. I felt out of place. Had my eye condition gone so bad that it is similar to those of senior citizens? Am I going blind?

After registering and waiting for 15 mins or so, they called my name for an eye test. There I was lead to a darkened room, where a nurse checked my eye sight. There was a series of rows of numbers a certain distance away, and she made me read certain rows to check my eye sight. She checked the right eye first and then the left eye. And then she repeat the test with this dotted glasses. With the dotted glass, some of the rows which I could not read initially, I could see. I ought to get myself a pair of these glasses, which I know is available in some pharmacy.

Then she led me to this eye examine machine where she asked me to look into. The inner of the machine was this bright photographic picture of a long straight road with blue skies on both sides of the road. She then told me she is going to spray something into my eyes and asked me to focus looking into the machine.

After the eye test was completed, I was next asked to wait outside for a eye doctor.

After waiting for what seemed to be ages, a young doctor came out of his room to call my name.
He introduced himself as Dr EC and sat me down. Dr EC was this stocky hairy fellow with short hair and bouncy butt. His voice was rather high pitch whiny tone but not feminine.

He then started to ask me a series of questions like when i noticed the dark spots in my vision, if I had any eye trauma or fall or whatever etc. Then he asked me to stare and focus into his machine lenses as he examined my eyes. He directed me to look right, look left and look straight.

Frankly, it has been a long time since another man except SO stared so intently into my eyes.
Gosh, he must be staring for more than 15 mins.

Maybe cos due to his age....late 20s?, I dun really think he was that experienced. Frankly, I wondered if he found the real cause about my eye condition? All he could said was it did not seemed to be retina detachment. And these dark spots also sometimes known as floaters and flashers are signs of aging. He said that people just have to live with it cos it is not something that can be treated with medication, eye drops or surgery.

Sigh...I was a bit depressed on hearing this. I had read up all on floaters and flashes before this, but this verbal confirmation of my eyes made me realised that my eyes are failing. I always had perfect eyesight. While a lot of my classmates were struggling with glasses, I have always been glasses free and now I am young and my vision are showing these signs of aging. By a certain age, I would probably go blind!

While checking my eye sight, our thighs and knees were pressed against each other. And yeah, as I told SO later (who called me a slut!, that bitch), it has has a long time since I pressed my knees against another man's thighs or had my thighs pressed against by someone's knee.

Gosh, I sounded so desperate and deprived. Ha! It was a certain intimate moment that was mostly corny and very awkward.

Anyway, Dr EC told me to wait a while and that he would get a senior doctor to confirm his diagnosis. Sigh...that shows that he is as inexperienced as I thought he was.

The senior doctor, Dr S arrived and directed me to look into the lens of the machine as he examined my eyes. He was quick in his diagnosis. He was able to detect in less than 5 mins that I have floaters and that I also have the beginning of cataracts in my left eye. He explained that that would account for the bright flashes as I watched TV.

This was something that the young Dr EC could not detect despite staring at my eyeballs for ages. Anyway, Dr EC told me that I have to check into the hospital immediately should my vision worsen drastically in a short time. He gave me a follow up appointment in one month time.

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Frankly, eye sight is the most important to me. I would rather go deaf or mute than be blind. I got this great fear of darkness. I would rather die than live a life in darkness. I can survive without hearing, without speaking but seriously I dun think I can function without seeing.

Let's see how this goes in one month time.

Happy Birthday, SO!

It's SO's birthday!

This would be the 13th or 14th time we celebrate his birthday together.

All I gave him was a card. Yeah....after all this years, he does not want anything anymore.
He's such a fussy person to shop for. As for surprises, i gave up on him ages ago. This stupid fella does not like surprises.

Bought him SK2 water 2 christmas ago after he was bitching how lousy his skin is and that SK2 would make his skin better. So i spend around $150 and surprised him.

He did not used it once. Complained it was too troublesome to dab the water on his face every night. So in the end, I used it.

Offered to buy him a fleshlight but I wondered if he would ever use it.

This year we have not bought a cake yet. Maybe some days later?
His mother did bought him a lemon flavored fruit cake with fresh fruits (strawberries, mango, lemon etc). He brought back a quarter of it. The rest was shared by his mother, bro, sister and the 2 nieces.

Frankly, I told him, your mother thought you are a fruitcake and so bought you one.
Actually his mother is illiterate, so she dun know what a fruitcake means.

Anyway, a fruitcake is the last type of cake of my choice. I would rather get a chocolate cake or a coffee cake or an expensive durian cake.

Once the fridge is clear, we are going to get a birthday cake!

The longest time we had between the actual event and buying the cake was 2 months.