Not gracious!

SO came back from work today, bitching about his colleagues.

He and a few others had gone to the Philippines for work and according to the work culture, brought back snacks topical to the country.

And after taking a few bites, they just left the stuff on the table, drawing ants and insects.

No one bothered to keep the leftovers in the fridge! And this was NOT the first time either! The other time he brought back some food and they left it on the table overnight!

He was so angry as he saw it as a waste of food. They had spent money to buy back stuff from the place and the left overs were just discarded on the table! He felt they were not appreciative.

He told them off, telling them that he would never buy stuff back for them again if they continue to behave like that!

Frankly, it was the same in my previous company. But luckily, we also have a very conscientous cleaning lady that cleaned up after us. And it was also our policy then that whoever brought the food to pack the leftovers at the end of the day.

Okay, back to clearing trays in food courts.

Would I clear my trays after I am done with my food? Sure why not! If the trays collection points are accessible.

If I have to make a special detour just to deposit my used trays, forget it.

Anyway, I remembered that in schools, we were taught to clear our trays after every meal. There were prefects on standby, watching like hawks.

But somehow, once we ventured into working society, we just forgot these habits.

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The Straits Times
19 Aug 2008

Goodness gracious me

Well-being of people also depends on improving social graces

By Zakir Hussain

SINGAPORE'S men know how to clear their tables and return their trays during National Service. But when they eat at food courts, their behaviour puzzles Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong.

'I don't understand. Every National Serviceman knows exactly what to do in his cookhouse. Maybe we need more reservist training,' he said, to roars of laughter from his audience of 1,700.

He described the common sight of uncleared trays at food courts when highlighting the need to improve social graces. The well-being of Singaporeans depends not just on bread-and-butter issues but also on how people behave and relate to one another.

At Sunday's National Day Rally, he said there had been 'all sorts of campaigns' from getting people to queue up, be courteous, not spit, flush toilets and give excellent service. 'Sometimes people laugh at us. But actually these are things which we can work on and improve,' he said.

'If we can make people aware of their behaviour and conscious of the impact on others, we can educate them and they can learn new habits. They will respond and our social norms will upgrade.' There has been progress, he noted.

People living here might not notice, but infrequent visitors could see the difference, he said, citing Sri Lankan Doreen Wissmann, who was here recently for only the second time in 40 years.

She was so moved by what she experienced that she wrote to The Straits Times Forum page to say she was met with kindness everywhere she went.

'Shopkeepers gave me water to drink, people waiting for a bus walked with me to the correct bus stop, people helped me cross the street. I have never experienced this sort of kindness anywhere else in the world...Not only is your economy sound but your heart is in the right place.'

Said Mr Lee: 'She must have been a very nice lady. But the people who behaved so well to her flew the flag for Singapore. We don't know who they are, but we should thank them.'

Mr Lee said the Singapore Kindness Movement had conducted surveys of social behaviour considered important, and also showed up some problems areas.

Some things people were good at: Sitting in the cinema and not putting their feet on the chair in front of them; saying 'Thank you' after being served.

But in other areas, like clearing tables and returning food trays, there was a need to improve.

Last month, a bid by Suntec City's Fountain Food Terrace to get patrons to return their trays saw dismal results. 'It's going to take time to change the mindset, because the mindset is, I go to the food courts to eat and not to clean tables,' he said.

He also read out an e-mail from a woman on the issue: 'We should feel quite embarrassed to leave our dirty plates and tables for the next diner. In my mum's house, after eating, we will clear our plates and clean the table. This is a good habit we should adopt outside the home.'

Then, to more laughter, he read the writer's plea: 'Most importantly, no fines, no fines. Dishing out fines hurts relationships and (isn't a) good image for the PAP government.' I thanked her for her good wishes, he said, adding: 'I'll try and find some way before thinking about fines.'

He also cited MediaCorp Radio's Class 95 FM station highlighting the issue by inviting listeners to submit videos of the best and worst habits. The response was 'tremendous', Mr Lee said.

Some of the clips were shown at the rally, to much laughter as people recognised behaviour that included lying down on bus seats to moving ahead of a person to flag down a taxi.

A way to change mindsets, said undergrad Andrew Wong, 24, who was at the rally, was to celebrate 'unsung heroes' like those who helped Madam Wissmann.

Mocked for saying Please

Some people just have no manners. They do not get the meaning of politeness and courtesy.

They are just so idiotic and uneducated that using simple polite words like "please" is like throwing pearls to pigs. Wasted!

If I ever get mocked for saying please or even trying to polite, I would just turn the other way and vulgarities may just spew out of my unholy mouth! WTF!

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The New Paper
20 Aug 2008

Graciousness on S'pore's streets

Got hope?

Elderly S'porean mocked for saying please

PLEASE heed this story. It is about our streets, the inhabitants of our streets, and the way they behave. It is about graciousness gone to the dogs.

And whether Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's appeal for greater kindness and graciousness will be heeded. Add the word 'please' to our vocabulary more often, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong suggested in his National Day Rally speech on Sunday.

One man did - and was mocked for it.

Another man, The New Paper reader Suneel Ramchandani, 31, was outraged when he saw what happened. He was just an observer, he said, but he felt for a fellow citizen, one who is in his 70s.

Mr Yee Teck Peng, 75, was being polite when he asked for a drink at a food court in Little India. 'One coffee, please,' Mr Yee, a retiree, told the drinks stall supervisor, Mr Tay Guizhong, who is in his 20s.

The response Mr Yee received riled Mr Ramchandani.

Mr Tay said: 'How to make that? I don't know how to make 'coffee-please'.' Mr Tay answered. After saying that, he allegedly kept repeating the word 'please' in different tones.

It could be that Mr Tay has never come across customers using the word, 'please'. How else would you explain why he found it amusing enough to be facetious?

Mr Ramchandani, self-employed, was in front of Mr Yee, waiting for his drinks. He was so upset that he decided to act. Going up to Mr Tay, he told him off for his rudeness. He told Mr Tay that he should be thankful that there are still people who are so polite.

Mr Ramchandani told Mr Tay that he should have been more polite in his response. He even offered quick advice on the proper reply. He told the stall vendor: 'You should have answered, 'Yes, sir, thank you,' or 'Wait a minute, please'.'

He also told Mr Tay to apologise to Mr Yee for being rude and making fun of him.

Instead, Mr Tay challenged Mr Ramchandani to make a case of it. Mr Tay said: 'I was only joking with him. But, you go and report if you want to.'

When contacted by The New Paper, Mr Yee agreed with Mr Ramchandani that Mr Tay was impolite. He had also told Mr Tay: 'You shouldn't have done that. You should not behave that way towards your customers. It is not right to make fun of people.'

Mr Tay did not apologise to Mr Yee. Instead, he turned on Mr Ramchandani for being 'kay poh' (nosy) and stared at him angrily when he passed his table.

Mr Yee commented: 'The man was very rude and he did not project a good image of how people working in Singapore should behave.' But he said he bears no grudge against the drinks stall and will return for his coffee.

His wife, Mrs Mary Yee, 70, a retiree, was seated at a table and did not see the exchange. She felt there was a reason Mr Tay behaved that way. 'The man is Mandarin-speaking, so when he meets an English-speaking person, ordering drinks in a polite way, he regards him as an 'angmoh sai' (anglophile) and thus mimicks him.

'However, it doesn't give him the right to make fun of my husband.'

When contacted by The New Paper, Mr Roy Goh, 40, the Area Manager of Foodmore, said he was informed about the incident only on Thursday, after The New Paper visited the place.

It is understood that on that day, the duty supervisor was off and Mr Tay, the supervisor at another drinks stall in Bukit Panjang, covered for him.

Mr Goh felt that 'it was just a different kind of understanding of the language'. He said: 'When customers order coffee, they simply say, 'coffee', 'coffee black' or in dialect, 'kopi o' (coffee with no sugar and milk), 'kopi gao' (strong coffee) or 'kopi siu dai' (coffee with less sugar). They usually do not say, 'Coffee, please'.'

Mr Goh felt that Mr Ramchandani is making too much of the incident. He added: 'It was a trivial matter between the customer and supervisor and none of his (Mr Ramchandani's) concern.'

He wanted an amicable settlement of the case and offered to set up a meeting between Mr Tay and Mr Yee to resolve the issue.

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The New Paper
21 Aug 2008

No excuse for rudeness

HE SAID 'PLEASE' AND WAS MOCKED FOR IT: The New Paper ran a story on it and you wrote in. What do Singaporeans feel about the matter? We got almost 40 calls and e-mails about this.

Here are some excerpts
The problem with our society is that there aren't enough people like Mr Ramchandani who are willing to speak up for someone who is wronged.


# We need more people willing to speak up

The problem with our society is that there aren't enough people like Mr Ramchandani who are willing to speak up for someone who is wronged.

For Mr Goh to call it a small matter is rubbing salt into the wound. Would Mr Goh take it lightly if it was his father or someone he cherishes who was treated in such a manner?

Rudeness is rudeness and one must never make excuses or call it by any other name.

FROM READER WILFRED ALEXANDER TAN


# Pity the coffee boy

Here's my take. You are a coffee boy and you hear 'Coffee, please' from a customer. You bring him the closest sounding thing: 'Coffee-C'. You could get a tirade from him.

The coffee shop is no place for niceties. Orders have to be short and sharp. Hundreds of customers make hundreds of orders in an hour or two, so pity the coffee boy.

FROM READER SK NEO


# Oh, lighten up

I am not here to judge Mr Tay's tone when he replied but I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

Singaporeans have to lighten up and have some sense of humour. What Mr Tay replied with was quite humorous. Even if Mr Tay sounded impolite, he meant it to be humourous.

I'd rather have funny, polite Singlish than stiff upper lip politeness any time.

FROM READER FRANCIS CHIN


# Mr Yee's my teacher, a gracious person

Being a student of the school that Mr Yee always conducts relief lessons in, Saint Andrew's Secondary, I know that he is always a very courteous and gracious person.

To see how such gentlemanly behaviour has been mocked leaves me disgusted. It really bewilders me that courtesy now carries such a strong social stigma.

Mr Ramchandani is indeed a hero and not a kaypoh. I would do exactly what Mr Ramchandani did when he saw what happened.

If people will stop minding their own business and step forward, Singapore can be changed to a courteous and gracious society.

FROM READER NICHOLAS YEO


# Bad service? Blame the manager

As a customer, I do not find Mr Tay's antics amusing. But his behaviour becomes apparent to me after reading his area manager, Mr Roy Goh's reaction.

It is no wonder Tay behaves that way - 'company policy' perhaps?

They have failed the customer service test and failed miserably again, this time in their PR (damage control).

I will definitely give this food court a miss!!

FROM READER RICK TAN


# Good manners is almost extinct

I respect people like Mr Ramchandani who have the courage to stand up not only for themselves, but for others as well.

As for Mr Yee, I am glad that there still exists old-fashioned good manners. Such behaviour is almost extinct. I am confronted daily by instances of unrefined behaviour and brusqueness.

You can blame it on our culture, but that doesn't explain why, in my experience, retirees like Mr Yee, who have lived through more decades of local culture than most, are usually the genteel and well-mannered ones.

FROM READER MARIA CHAN


# Do you not understand what 'please' means?

Which part of the word 'please' does Mr Tay or Mr Roy Goh not understand?

It would seem that being Mandarin-speaking is just an excuse to be boorish in their behaviour.

I probably will not live long enough to see a gracious Singapore society in my lifetime, and I am only in my early fifties!

FROM READER TAN GEOK KIM


# What a lame excuse!

I am appalled by the reply from the area manager of Foodmore, Mr Roy Goh.

It is a lame excuse to say that the duty supervisor was off that day. Whether Mr Tay is a stand-in supervisor or not, he should not have reacted in that manner.

What happens if the customer was a foreigner? It would be bad for our image.

FROM READER RICHARD YAN