ASHES ARE FOREVER

New Paper
10 July 2009

Want to remember your loved ones in death? Turn their remains into a diamond

By Ng Tze Yong


WHEN funeral director Victor Hoo shows you the diamonds, they are sparkling 1-carat babies, but you'll likely not want to touch them, thank you very much.

Instead, you'll probably admire them from afar with a morbid curiosity.

'Erm... so who's this guy?' you'll try asking.

In a Singapore that is growing in affluence - and ageing rapidly - a local funeral home, Singapore Funeral Services (SFS), is offering these perfect fusion of death and beauty, convinced they will catch on.

Cremate your loved ones - and instead of leaving the ashes in a hard-to-find niche in the temple - send it to a lab in Switzerland.

A few months later, welcome Grandpa home as a precious stone - complete with a certificate from the Gemological Institute of America listing his cut, carat, clarity and colour.

The service is provided by a Swiss-based company Algordanza, which was founded in 2003 and now operates in 20 countries.

A Chicago-based company, LifeGem, has been offering a similar service.

For what is believed to be the first time in Singapore, SFS is offering this service in partnership with Algordanza.

Cost will range between $6,999 for a 0.25-carat diamond and $33,999 for a 1-carat diamond.

The waiting period will range from three months to a year.

'Our society is now at a stage where we want the finer things in life - even until the last step,' said Mr Hoo.

But it's not about being extravagant, he explained. It's about moving with the times.

'Many people feel guilty when they have a tablet or an urn for their parents, because they're not sure the future generations will continue to visit it,' said Mr Hoo.

'If you have a ring, you can pass it down from generation to generation. Your loved one will be with you every minute, every second.'

Preserve memories

Many families these days also have members living in different countries, he pointed out. 'They may not be able to come back every year to pay their respects. Making a diamond helps them preserve the memories,' said Mr Hoo.

In a land-scarce Singapore, it also encourages cremation, 'in line with government policy'.

'People already associate diamonds with love and eternity. For a widow, for example, it can provide a lot of comfort,' said Mr Hoo.

Singaporeans, however, may need a bit more convincing.

'We should just let the dead rest in peace,' said 37-year-old manager Yvonne Wong.

Miss Pearl Chia, a 46-year-old manager, wonders what will happen if future generations run into financial difficulties.

'What if they pawn off Grandpa?' she asked.

But diamonds, however they come, retain their allure for some.

'I don't mind a diamond, real or otherwise,' gushed Stacey Kelly, a 20-year-old student. 'It will give family heirlom a new meaning.'

Mr Raymond Xiao, a 69-year-old retiree, doesn't mind being turned into a diamond.

'It is a good idea to recycle, so to speak,' he said.

'People will get used to the idea. Look at Bishan. It used to be a cemetery. Now, it's a HDB estate.'

Leaders from Singapore's two main religions were not keen on the idea.

Mr Lee Bock Guan, president of the Singapore Buddhist Lodge, said that 'there is nothing in Buddhism that forbids this'.

'But if you have the ring, people may not want to shake your hand. It may not be nice to wear it to someone's wedding,' he said. 'Worse still, what if you lose it?'

Rev Dr Daniel Koh, an ordained minister of the Methodist Church of Singapore, said in his personal capacity: 'It does not seem to gel with the Christian faith at all.

'It may be better to remember a loved one through the lessons they taught us. It is things like these, not diamonds, which last forever.'

Fellow undertakers also have their doubts.

'Singaporeans may feel uneasy about passing on the remains of their loves ones to strangers halfway across the world,' said Mr Roland Tay, 62, the director of Direct Singapore Funeral Services.

Mr Darren Tan, 31, the operations manager of a memorial services firm, worries that the diamonds may have a reverse effect, making it hard for mourners to find closure, especially in cases where the death occurred unexpectedly.

'I don't think it will be popular in an Asian society,' he said.

1. An average person leaves behind 2kg in ash after cremation. 500g of this is sent by air to the Swiss Alps, where the headquarters of Algordanza is located.

2. Upon arrival, the ash is marked with a serial number to prevent any mix-up.

3. The ash undergoes an analysis in the lab to determine its chemical composition.

4. Potassium and calcium, which make up 85 per cent of the ash, are extracted from the carbon using strong acids.

5. The remaining carbon is compressed into graphite under high pressure and temperature. Waste gases are generated and removed immediately.

6. A tiny diamond is added into the graphite. Crystalisation takes place around it and the diamond grows in size. The duration of the crystalisation depends on the size of the diamond desired. It can last anything from three months to a year. When the desired size is reached, the diamond introduced at the start of the process is cut off.

7. The remaining chunk of diamond is cut and polished. Engraving can be done upon request.

8. Your loved one comes home as a precious stone - accompanied by a certificate from the Gemological Institute of America listing his cut, carat, clarity and colour.

New AWARE woman in the hot seat

New Paper
17 April 2009


LATEST: AWARE PRESIDENT ANNOUNCED

New woman in the hot seat

By Benson Ang

SINCE they were voted in late last month, the new committee of the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) had remained tight-lipped.

And yesterday evening, when the committee met for the first time, it was no different.

When The New Paper arrived at the Aware Centre along Dover Crescent at 6.30pm, three of the committee members were already there.

Then other members showed up and entered the centre, ignoring queries by the media. One woman even shielded her face with a plastic file as she hurried in.

Why was a committee member of a high-profile organisation so apprehensive about showing her face? No answers were forthcoming.

Late meeting

Their meeting ran from 7pm till 11pm, after which they announced the new president to replace veteran member Claire Nazar, who had resigned without providing a reason less than a week after being voted in .

Ms Josie Lau Meng-Lee, 48, is now head of Singapore's foremost women's organisation, appointed by the other 10 committee members.

Previous media reports describe Ms Lau as a bank officer.


NEW BOSS: New Aware president Josie Lau. TNP PICTURES: MOHD ISHAK

After the meeting, the committee members were still tight-lipped about their backgrounds, why they had moved to take control of Aware and what they planned to do with the 24-year-old women's organisation.

But after midnight, it issued a press statement announcing Ms Lau's appointment and outlining some of its aims.

The new team said it intended to build on the solid foundations laid by the founders of Aware and continue to promote the participation of women, on equal terms with men, in political, social, economic and cultural life.

Ms Lau said in the statement: 'In these challenging times, the new team will actively seek to collaborate and align Aware with other women's organisations, with outreach to girls and women who are affected by the current economic downturn.

'The new team aims to empower women who have been retrenched and equip them with new skills.'

She said Aware will work with training agencies to launch programmes of practical assistance, including budgeting, finance and debt management, career-planning and management of change.

It will continue to provide emotional, psychological and legal support for women.

She added: 'We call on all women of Singapore to rise to the challenge of taking on leadership roles in our nation. We invite volunteers to help make Aware a positive agency of change for the beneficial transformation of our society, where all people regardless of race, religion or sex are valued and have a place under the sun.'

But the gulf between the new committee and Aware's old guard is obvious.

At about 10.15pm, Ms Caris Lim, one of the two veterans left in the new committee, walked out of the meeting, saying that she was not happy with what was happening inside.

On Tuesday, a petition signed by 160 Aware members was delivered to the new committee calling for an extraordinary general meeting (EOGM) within 14 days to improve the transparency of the situation.

Controversy has plagued Aware since an unprecedented number of new members showed up at the annual general meeting (AGM) on 28Mar and voted in the new leadership.


CHEERS: Ms Lois Ng (far left) and the other committe members applaude after their new president Josie Lau (first from left) made a short speech.

Nine of the 12 contested positions went to new members.

The long-term members are concerned with the action of new members voting enbloc at the AGM, Ms Nazar's sudden resignation and whether the new committee will continue with the vision and values of Aware.

Ms Corinna Lim, 44, a veteran Aware member, who spoke for the 160 members, said that these values were 'equality, respect, helping women in need, diversity and empowered choice'.

'Choice, choice is very important. There are rumours that the new committee is very conservative and doesn't want to promote choice...

'It just raises a lot of questions, and that's not good for Aware.'

She added that if the members were not satisfied with the answers given by the current committee, then they may call for a vote of no confidence and vote in a new committee.

An EOGM is not confirmed, but is expected to take place in about a month.

Written to forums

Some members of the new committee and the people who voted them in have written letters to The Straits Times to speak out against the repeal of Section 377a of the Penal Code, which criminalises sex between men.

In October 2007, Ms Jenica Chua, the secretary of the new committee, accused Mr Siew Kum Hong of overstepping his boundaries as a nominated Member of Parliament and of advancing the gay cause when he submitted the petition to repeal 377a.

In August 2007, Dr Alan Chin, an Aware associate member who supported the newcomers, wrote a letter warning about high-risk gay lifestyles.

When contacted, Dr Chin declined to be interviewed.

-----------------------------

New Aware committee

President:

Josie Lau Meng-Lee

Vice-president:

Charlotte Wong Hock Soon

Honorary secretary:

Jenica Chua Chor Ping

Assistant honorary secretary:

Sally Ang Koon Hian

Honorary treasurer:

Maureen Ong Lee Keang

Assistant honorary treasurer:

Chew I-Jin

Committee members:

Caris Lim Chai Leng

Catherine Tan Ling Ghim

Irene Yee Khor Quin

Lois Ng

Peggy Leong Pek Kay

Wah.....3 officers have broken bonds since 2000

New Paper
15 April 2009


3 officers have broken bonds since 2000

Death of scholar prompts queries over SAF HR policies in parliament session

By Low Ching Ling

IN RECENT weeks, the family of the late Captain (Dr) Allan Ooi have engaged the Defence Ministry (Mindef) about his death in newspaper forums.

The incident prompted MP for Tampines GRC Irene Ng to raise questions in Parliament about bonded Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) officers.

Here is the exchange between Ms Ng and Defence Minister Teo Chee Hean :

Ms Ng: Can bonded SAF officers apply to leave the service early?

Mr Teo: All officers who... take up sponsorship are aware that they have a moral obligation to serve out the full period of their... bonds, which goes beyond the legal obligation to pay back liquidated damages if (they do) not fulfil the bond.

An officer who wishes to be released early while under bond can submit a formal application through the proper process.

Under what circumstances will approval be granted?

The application will be assessed on a case-by-case basis and the officer will be counselled and interviewed by his superior officers.

How many applications have been made and approvals granted over the years?

Since 2000, we have allowed three officers to be released prematurely from their bonds.

Can the Minister review the way the SAF contracts army personnel to make sure that, before a person signs... the contract terms are clearly explained to him, and to... his parents if he is below 21?

First, if anyone is signing a sponsorship deed and needs clarification on its terms and conditions, he can and should seek these clarifications, which Mindef has and will continue to provide.

The individual signs the deed voluntarily and is not compelled to do so until he has fully understood the terms of the sponsorship or scholarship.

This is particularly the case when it is an in-service officer who may well already be in his 20s or 30s, and decides to take up a scholarship or a sponsorship to go on for a course for further career development.

Second, most of our sponsorships or scholarships require two sureties to also sign the deed.

These sureties (are) usually one of the parents, a close relative or someone whom they know well... Mindef also provides clarification to these sureties.

While the bonded officer has a moral obligation to serve his bond, the SAF... also has a moral obligation to... make him want to stay... Do the SAF's HR policies ensure that?

In the case of sponsorship, Mindef has already taken the first step, which is to provide sponsorship for the course, sometimes with salary for the officer while he is on course.

So, Mindef has already fulfilled a fairly major part of the obligation towards the officer by sponsoring him for the programme.

These programmes may be six months, or as long as six years in the case of medical scholarships.

The SAF invests substantial public funds and time to train these officers. There is an expectation that such officers will... fulfil their moral obligation to serve the organisation in return.

The SAF is not an unreasonable organisation. The terms and conditions are quite fair and reasonable and that is why we do have people who are prepared to come forward to serve the SAF...

There are many interesting and challenging jobs in the SAF... In most cases, because the officers whom we choose to sponsor are our better officers, they do have a pick of the better positions available.

Given that Mindef has convened a Board of Inquiry and made findings that the matters related to Capt (Dr) Ooi's service were managed appropriately, would the Minister consider making the findings public or at least available to the family?

Mindef has been in contact with the family since Capt (Dr) Ooi went Awol in October last year. We will continue to do so.

If the family were to request for the findings... Mindef will make available a summary of the findings to them.

Goodbye Rich

I dun know Richard Stanley, the late CEO of DBS.

I had read of his rare cancer which was diagnosed in late January. I was a bit shocked cos he was still quite young and it was a bit too suddenly.

I know people get cancer and all sorts of diseases all the time. But I am still shocked whenever that happen.

And then 2 and a half months later, Richard died. It was much too sudden.

Yeah, healthy young people died all the time but I was still shocked by this facts of life. It was just 2 months plus. So soon? Too soon?

As someone who was quite financially well off, he can afford to have the best treatments and doctors available. And yet, he ended up dead.

Life is so unpredictable.

I dun think Richard or his family would ever think he would die so young and so early in life.

One day, Richard was suffering from flu symptoms and the next few days, he was diagnosed with leukemia. And less than 3 months later, he was dead.

Life is a joke. A cruel bitter joke sometimes. One moment he was at the top of the world and the next, he was just ashes.

That's what life is all about. All fragility. Easy huffed out in just moments! Here one moment and gone the next.

Frankly, if something similar were to happen to SO, I dun think I can handle it.

I dun know how I would react or handle the situation. I would probably collapse and crack. Into many pieces. Or I would probably become stark raving mad.

But then if I would be the one to get a terminal disease, I would not be surprised at all.

My health has not always in the best state.

I have gotten gout and cataracts some years back. Doctors have told me it was quite rare for some one my age but not that impossible. They have seen young patients with similar conditions. But in small numbers.

Anyway, when someone died in their prime, it is very diificult for the family get over, cos it happen so unexpectedly. So suddenly.

It was too unexpected and sudden, even for me. A total stranger.

So, Rest in peace, Rich and goodbye. You have lived a good life.

----------------------------

Straits Times
12 April 2009

DBS CEO dies of cancer

By Gabriel Chen

FRIENDS and family on Saturday night flocked to the wake of DBS Group Holdings chief executive Richard Stanley, who died on Saturday morning after a short battle with leukaemia.


In his nine-month stint as CEO, Mr Richard Stanley not only made his mark professionally by seeing DBS through one of its most trying times, but he will also be fondly remembered for his warm, personable leadership style. -- PHOTO: REUTERS

His body is resting at the Singapore Casket and his funeral will be held tomorrow at the Church of St Teresa in Kampong Bahru Road.

In a statement, the bank said Mr Stanley, 48, died at 8.36am.

His family 'kept vigil all night long and were by his side as he slipped away peacefully', added the statement. He is survived by his wife, Ms Koh Li Peng, and three children.

Mr Stanley was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukaemia in late January and had been responding well to treatment.

After two rounds of chemotherapy, his doctors believed that his cancer was in remission. But his weakened immune system made him susceptible to infection, said the bank. His condition rapidly deteriorated over the last 48 hours and he succumbed to the infection.

DBS chairman Koh Boon Hwee said that DBS staff are deeply saddened by the loss.

'We will miss Rich and our thoughts and prayers are with his family during this time of bereavement,' he said.

DBS also said that Mr Koh will continue to oversee management, a role he took on after Mr Stanley's diagnosis. 'There will be no change in the bank's strategic direction,' it said. 'It will announce succession plans in due course.

Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong, who spoke to reporters at a constituency event in Marine Parade, said he was very saddened by the death of Mr Stanley, and extended his condolences to his wife and family.

--------------------------

Infection after chemotherapy led to death

HOW do you deal with a cancer that attacks blood?

Early diagnosis and treatment improve the odds of beating this fast-spreading blood cancer, or acute myelogenous leukaemia (AML).

But it was an infection, soon after his latest round of chemotherapy, that led to the sudden death of DBS chief Richard Stanley yesterday.

In fact, doctors had felt that Mr Stanley's AML was treatable when it was diagnosed in late January. Mr Stanley, 48, went to see a doctor when he had flu-like symptoms, including fever and a cough, over the Chinese New Year holidays.

Tests over the next three days confirmed he had AML.

The bad news came just nine months after he became chief executive of Singapore's biggest bank. He took leave, for up to six months, and began chemotherapy treatment at once.

In a staff memo then, DBS chairman Koh Boon Hwee said doctors felt Mr Stanley's condition was treatable and full remission was possible.

Haematologists who spoke to The Sunday Times yesterday explained that AML is a type of cancer in which the bone marrow makes abnormal white blood cells. These leukaemia cells build up in the bone marrow and blood, so there is less room for healthy cells. The causes of AML are mostly unknown.

It is a very serious illness and the cancer can worsen very quickly if not treated. Dr Benjamin Mow, consultant haematologist at Mount Elizabeth Hospital, said: 'If it is not treated, the person can die within three months.'

Patients have even died within two to three weeks of diagnosis due to complications from the disease or during treatment, said Dr Koh Liang Piu, senior consultant at the National University Cancer Institute.

Even with treatment, chances of recovering fully come with caveats. A normal, healthy person might have a 40 per cent to 50 per cent chance of recovery. But the elderly or sickly will have less than a 10 per cent chance, said DrKoh.

A relapse is common, occurring in three or four out of every 10 'cured' AML patients, he said.

In the less serious cases, the patient will have to go through four cycles of chemotherapy as treatment. The more serious and risky cases will need both chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant, said doctors.

Because AML patients lack white blood cells needed to fight infection and disease, they have to be isolated during treatment to minimise the risk of infection.

Their single-bed isolation wards are specially cleaned. The few visitors who see them have to wash their hands and wear a face mask before entering the room. Such care is needed because, often, it is infections which lead to death among AML patients - especially after chemotherapy treatment.

Said Dr Koh: 'After chemotherapy, the patient's immunity is very low for the next two to three weeks. This is when the risk of infection is very high. Usually, death happens during this period.'

In a statement yesterday, DBS said Mr Stanley contracted an infection after chemotherapy, after which his condition 'deteriorated rapidly' in the last 48 hours.

Mr Stanley was treated at Mount Elizabeth Hospital. His doctor, consultant haematologist Dr Freddy Teo Cheng Peng, could not be contacted yesterday.

Infections can come from anywhere - from airborne bacteria to the pre-existing bacteria carried by the patients themselves. In very serious infections, such as blood or lung infection, the patient can die within hours, said Dr Koh.

Internal bleeding is also a common cause of death among AML patients, the worst being bleeding in the brain. This can happen suddenly and results from a lack of healthy platelets which help to form blood clots.

Said Dr Mow: 'Usually when the patient no longer responds to chemotherapy or becomes very sick, it might be too late to do anything else.'

ORAL sex can lead to throat cancer

New Paper
11 April 2009


Sex act linked to throat cancer

ORAL sex can lead to throat cancer, say US scientists.

A study conducted by Johns Hopkins University has revealed that the human papilloma virus (HPV) poses a greater risk in contracting cancer than smoking or alcohol.

Oral sex is the main mode of HPV transmission.

And those who had already experienced a previous oral HPV infection were 32 times more likely to develop cancer.

The American study of 300 people also found that that those with more than six partners were almost nine times at greater risk of contracting the disease.

During the study, men and women who had been recently diagnosed with oropharyngeal cancer had blood and saliva samples taken and were also asked about their sexual practices and family history.

They found HPV16 - one of the most common cancer-causing strains of the virus - was present in the tumours of 72 per cent of cancer patients, reported the Daily Mail.

Scientists said the majority of HPV infections had no symptoms and often did not require treatment.

But they also said a small percentage of those who contracted high-risk strains may go on to develop cancer.

Study author Dr Gypsyamber D'Souza told the BBC: 'It is important for health care providers to know that people without the traditional risk factors of tobacco and alcohol use can nevertheless be at risk of oropharyngeal cancer.'

Co-researcher Dr Maura Gillison said that oropharyngeal cancer is still relatively uncommon and that most people who contracted HPV probably wouldn't develop throat cancer.

Dr Julie Sharp, science information officer at Cancer Research UK, said: 'As this was a small study, further research is needed to confirm these observations.

'We know that after age, the main causes of mouth cancer are smoking or chewing tobacco or betel nut, and drinking too much alcohol.'

End of the World in 2012!!

oohm...end of the world.

Did not think it would happen in my generation or even the next generation.

And if this doomsday solar storm really is to come in 2o12, I hope to be among the first to die.

After all with no electricity, no power, no water and then hunger, thirst and diseases.

Life would just be suffering as mankind adjust to primitive life without modern electricity.

Will modern technology help evade this event?

Well, only time will tell.

-------------------------

New Paper
9 April 2009

A solar storm coming?

Space scientists warn of possible disaster in three years' time

By Ng Tze Yong

A GRIM prediction of a world teetering on the edge of apocalypse has come, not from the lips of soothsayers or lunatics, but from space scientists.

In a report funded by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (Nasa) and issued by the US National Academy of Sciences earlier this year, space scientists warned of a massive solar storm wreaking havoc on Earth in 2012.

A solar storm - essentially plasma balls spewing from the surface of the sun - can distort the Earth's magnetic field.

A particularly big one can destroy the tens of thousands of expensive and hard-to-build transformers in power grids worldwide.

This will plunge major cities like Singapore into blackouts, which are expected to last months, or even years, as new transformers are painstakingly manufactured.

Standstill

Meanwhile, with no power, modern life grinds to a standstill.

In the first moments of this catastrophe, trains will collide and planes will crash, as their communications systems fail.

Satellites will crash back to Earth like meteors.

Hospitals, with their life-sustaining support systems, will see some of the most urgent needs at first.

But eventually, millions may die from hunger and thirst.

With no power, food cannot be processed or delivered. Water cannot be pumped from reservoirs into homes.

Back-up generators will help, but only for a few days before their fuel runs out.

As sewage systems fail, diseases will break out.

Horses will replace cars, the financial system will collapse and, in a silver lining of sorts, there will certainly be no more e-mails for you to clear.

Unsurprisingly, the report has generated much buzz.

Some accuse Nasa of scare-mongering in a bid to draw more funding.

But some independent experts have also praised the report as 'fair', 'balanced' and 'thoughtful'.

In an e-mail interview with The New Paper, Dr Mike Hapgood, who chairs the European Space Agency's space weather team, wrote: 'The report brought in expertise from a diverse range of organisations in academia, government and industry...and the ideas were tested by debate in the best traditions of the science and technology community.'

The report is not controversial for its subject, but for its conclusions.

Solar storms are, after all, nothing new. Several hit the Earth every year but most are harmless, resulting only in auroras, the spectacular light shows usually seen in the night sky over the polar regions.

But mankind's increasing reliance on technology has made us vulnerable in unprecedented ways.

Just how exactly does a storm 150 million kilometres away make your bedside lamp go kaput?

A solar storm comes in three parts (see graphics right), harmful in various ways.

It is the third and main force, a sledgehammer of an electrified gas cloud called the Coronal Mass Ejection (CME), that delivers the killer punch.

By upsetting the Earth's magnetic field, the CME induces currents in the long wires of power grids.

The grids were not built to handle this kind of destructive overload.

So disaster will strike at transformers in power grids worldwide - where voltage is converted up or down for the transport and consumer use of electricity respectively.

The increased currents create strong magnetic fields that saturate the transformers' magnetic cores.

This gives rise to runaway current in the transformers' copper wiring, which rapidly heats up and melts.

Replacing a fried transformer is not like replacing a spark plug on a car engine. They are expensive machines, and no one keeps a spare transformer around the house in case a solar storm hits.

It will take years before the transformers are painstakingly rebuilt, and the world fully recovers.

Hope may lie in an ageing satellite named Ace.

Short for Advanced Composition Explorer, Ace is a space probe positioned directly between the sun and the Earth, built precisely to study solar storms.

Ace plays a crucial role because no matter how large the solar storm approaching Earth is, we can only predict the potential damage it causes once we know its polarity.

Just like a magnet, a solar storm has either a north or south polarity. If it's north, the storm may bounce off the Earth's magnetic field harmlessly.

But if it's south, we'll have to brace for fried transformers.

There is one way to save these transformers - shut them down before the storm arrives. But that will be a big gamble.

Ace is able to provide between 15 and 45 minutes of warning. But a power station needs about an hour to shut down.

This means the decision to shut down a power station must be taken before the destructive nature of the storm is known.

At stake are billions of dollars in lost business and millions of saved lives.

The sun goes through a 22-year cycle of fluctuating solar activity. The next peak is expected in 2012.

What if the perfect storm arrives then?

The report does not offer solutions. It is intended to spark a discussion but even that is an uphill task.

'It is hard for people to worry about solar storms when there are empty stomachs to feed,' said Mr Ang Poon Seng, vice-president of The Astronomical Society of Singapore (Tasos).

Mr Hapgood agrees that it is hard to prepare for Low Frequency High Impact Events (lingo for catastrophic but rare events like solar storms), but it would be foolish not to.

Apocalypse may be near. But it is perhaps also necessary to maintain some perspective in matters of such colossal nature.

Said Mr Albert Lim, president of Tasos, half in jest: 'You have a higher chance of getting knocked down crossing the road than getting fried in a solar storm.'

Suicidal blogs may not mean suicidal kids

The Sunday Times
5 April 2009

Suicidal blogs may not mean suicidal kids

Parents urged to look for tell-tale symptoms before seeking help
By Nur Dianah Suhaimi

Children and teens blog about just anything, even suicidal thoughts, but this does not necessarily mean they want to kill themselves, say psychiatrists.

Really suicidal children would be withdrawn and display symptoms such as not eating or sleeping well, and refusing to go to school, they say. Thus, they urge parents to look out for the tell-tale signs before calling up for an appointment.

The Institute of Mental Health sees about 2,000 to 3,000 young patients each year. But in each of the past two years, it has been seeing more than 3,000 children and teens, said Dr Daniel Fung, chief of the hospital's department of child and adolescent psychiatry.

Those in private practice are also seeing a spike in child and teenage patients. These numbers do not necessarily mean there has been a spike in mental illnesses among the young, the psychiatrists emphasise.

While greater public awareness and better outreach play a role, other factors include children of busy parents becoming lonelier.

Last week, consultant psychiatrist Brian Yeo wrote in The Straits Times' health supplement, Mind Your Body, that more parents are taking their children to his clinic after reading their troubled blog postings.

'These children mainly write about suicide and, sometimes, even homicide. Their postings can be so scary that their friends will alert their teachers,' he told The Sunday Times.

Psychiatrists explain that it is quite common for children to harbour suicidal thoughts. Dr Fung cited a recent survey on suicidal thinking showing that 30 to 40 per cent of children have had suicidal thoughts at one point or other.

But most of the time, they are not serious about taking their own lives. They are just seeking attention, he said. 'Parents are very busy with work and don't have time to talk to their children. The convenient way out is to send them to a psychiatrist.'

Psychiatrist Ang Yong Guan, who has his own practice, used to see a new child or teen about once a month. Now, he sees a new one every week. He said: 'Most of them have some form of anxiety problem. But many of these cases do not even need psychiatric help. They need their parents' attention.'

The Tinkle Friend children's counselling helpline has also seen a sharp increase in the number of calls it received. Last year, it received over 4,000 calls from children, a four-year high. Said Ms Yap Lee Lan, the helpline's coordinator: 'The majority are lonely... They just want someone to chat with.'

Psychiatrists say that if a child is not really withdrawn or showing tell-tale symptoms, dragging him off to a psychiatrist might further jeopardise parent-child relations.

Said Dr Fung: 'Seeing a psychiatrist should be the last resort. It's better for the parents to talk to their children and find out what the problem is.'

ndianah@sph.com.sg


WHEN TO START WORRYING
Don't panic if your child's blog contains morbid thoughts, say psychiatrists. It could just be that he is trying to get some attention from friends. These are the signs that show a child is really suicidal:

# Not eating and sleeping well

# Refuses to go to school for no reason

# Socially withdrawn and keeps to his room

# Frequently crouches in a foetal position

# Has a habit of punching his fist or banging his head against the wall

# Talks negatively - like saying that life has no meaning - not just in blog postings but in daily conversations with others as well


HELPLINES

# Samaritans of Singapore: 1800-221-4444

# Family Service Centre: 1800-838-0100

# Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019

# Care Corner Mandarin Counselling Centre: 1800-353-5800

# Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788

# Touchline (Touch Youth Service): 1800-377-2252

More about David Hartanto Widjaja

New Paper
8 April 2009

Dad of Indonesian student who fell to death after allegedly stabbing NTU prof says...

When he said he lost his scholarship, I said: No problem

By Crystal Chan

THE family of Indonesian student David Hartanto Widjaja has finally spoken out to clarify that they knew about his school problems.

Speaking to The New Paper yesterday, Mr Hartono Widjaja, 56, dismissed earlier reports that his son had kept his family in the dark about the termination of his Asean scholarship.

David Widjaja, 21, fell to his death after allegedly stabbing his professor in Nanyang Technological University (NTU) on 2Mar.

'Last year, NTU began sending us letters, warning us that David's grades had slipped. He was scoring mostly Cs and Ds,' Mr Widjaja said in Mandarin over the phone from Jakarta.

'Of course, as parents, we scolded him for playing too much computer games, and we tried telling him to pay more attention to his studies.'

Just two weeks before the tragedy, he phoned his parents with the news that his scholarship had been revoked.

Mr Widjaja said: 'My son sounded normal when he told us. He knew it was coming as he had been playful and had neglected his studies.

'When David signed the agreement for the scholarship, he knew he was required to maintain good grades but I guess he was addicted to computer games.

'My wife and I told him: 'No problem. It's only one semester before you graduate and we can afford the fees'.'

The outstanding fees came to only a few thousand dollars, said Mr Widjaja.

Though the scholarship was terminated, his son still had to work in Singapore for three years, as the Singapore Government had already paid his school fees for the last three years.

His son had hoped to work in the electronics sector here, said Mr Widjaja.

Autopsy report

He said the family received the autopsy report on Sunday and asked an Indonesian doctor to explain it to them as it was written in English.

'We're not fluent in English and we needed someone to help explain the many medical terms. 'When asked about the contents of the autopsy report, Mr Widjaja said: 'It said my son had many injuries that were caused by stabbing and slashing. It does not say whether my son had committed suicide or not.'

Mr Widjaja and his wife, Madam Huang Lixian, 49, claimed they did not see any injuries on their son's wrists when they collected his body on 3 Mar.

'His wrists were bandaged so we didn't see the supposed wounds,' he said.

'But we asked the investigating officer and he said there were no injuries on David's wrists.'

However, The New Paper understands that the report did mention incisive wounds on David Widjaja's arms, including those on his wrists. It is understood that the cut on one wrist was deeper than the other.

The student had gone to see Associate Professor Chan Kap Luk, 45, in his office, and later allegedly pulled out a knife and attacked him.

After the injured Prof Chan fled, the student was seen by students climbing over a ledge along a common corridor one floor below Prof Chan's office. Minutes later, he fell to his death.

Said Mr Widjaja: 'It's very difficult for us to accept that our child could have behaved like a thug, taking a knife with him to attack his professor.'

The family also refuse to accept that he could have committed suicide.

Describing his son as an obedient boy, Mr Widjaja felt it was out of his character to attack anyone.

He said: 'He never gave us problems. He was a very polite and helpful boy. If his classmates had problems in their schoolwork, he would help them.'

Mr Widjaja also dismissed talk that his son was struggling with his final-year project, which Prof Chan was supervising.

He said: 'Every time we asked about his studies, he would say he was coping fine. He never mentioned problems.'

Mr Widjaja, who works in the electronics line, said his younger son was bright but addicted to computer games.

He and his homemaker wife had pinned their hopes on him, hoping he would graduate and get a good job.

They have another son, William, 24, a technician.

Mr Widjaja said: 'David did exceptionally well in maths but he also loved playing computer games since his Secondary 2 days.

'He wanted to study in NTU as he heard it was a world-class university in engineering.'

No meeting with prof

The parents had wanted to see Prof Chan to find out what happened, but said that NTU rejected their request.

An NTU spokesman said the Widjajas wanted to see Prof Chan on the day of the incident, but it was not possible as he had just undergone surgery.

The university said it tried to arrange a meeting the next day, but it fell through as the Widjajas were busy collecting their son's ashes and had to fly back to Jakarta.

But Mr Widjaja denies this.

He said: 'NTU certainly did not promise to arrange a meeting with Prof Chan.'

The family intends to return to Singapore for the coroner's inquiry.

'We have to know the truth. My wife still cries when she thinks about David. It's very hard for parents to bury their child,' said Mr Widjaja.

'Prof Chan is recovering but our son will never come back.'

-------------------------

Indonesian police won't investigate death as it took place in S'pore

INDONESIAN police have rejected a request by David Hartanto Widjaja's parents to look into his death.

The Jakarta Post quoted national police spokesman Abu Bakar Nataprawira as saying they were not able to investigate, as the death occurred in Singapore.

He added that the request should be addressed to the Singapore police.

The Jakarta Globe reported last Wednesday that Widjaja's family did not believe the Nanyang Technological University (NTU) student took his own life.

They held a press conference on 1 Apr in Jakarta where they also claimed that they were informed by a Singaporean police officer that 'there were no cuts on his wrists', the newspaper reported.

The Singapore police have denied this.

'Our officer, Soh Chee Eng, did not make any comments on the deceased's injuries to his next-of-kin, as erroneously reported by the Jakarta Globe,' said police spokesman Liu Xiangling.

The newspaper also reported that according to NTU, an Iranian student had seen Widjaja cut his wrists but requests to meet the witness were denied.

It said that according to NTU, David had stabbed the professor while the latter was sitting in his chair in his office.

An NTU spokesman has denied the reports.

He said: 'In the media statements issued by NTU with regard to the 2 Mar incident involving David Hartanto Widjaja, the university did not make any reference to whether there had been cuts on David's wrists or that David stabbed Professor Chan Kap Luk while the professor was sitting in his chair in his office.'

The New Paper understands that Widjaja's autopsy report mentioned incisive wounds to his arms, including the wrists.

His older brother, William Widjaja, confirmed that the family has received a certified copy of the autopsy report from NTU via courier.

The NTU spokesman said that it had been authorised by the parents to collect the autopsy report on 2 Apr afternoon. It was sent to the family the next day.

Ms Liu said the autopsy was conducted by the Health Sciences Authority (HSA) on 3 Mar as required by Singapore law.

'The HSA is responsible for all forensic post-mortem examinations in Singapore and it is an independent authority from the Singapore Police Force,' she said.

Another Indonesian newspaper, Kompas, reported on its website that it was announced at the press conference that a verification team would leave for Singapore this week.

The team, led by Mr Iwan Piliang, a citizen journalist, comprises bloggers and citizen reporters.

'There will be 12 bloggers from Indonesia and the Indonesian citizen journalist association,' Mr Piliang said.

The team plans to meet key witnesses, including Widjaja's friends and those they believe have information about his death.

Mr Piliang added: 'We are only a verification team, instead of an investigation team. We are trying to verify what was really going on.'

Kompas also reported that a female cleaner in NTU had told Widjaja's father, Mr Hartono Widjaja, that she had heard screams of 'They want to kill me, they want to kill me...'

Mr Widjaja claimed to have spoken to her when he visited NTU on 2 Mar, the day his son died.

Under Singapore law, the State Coroner has the power to hold an inquiry into all unnatural deaths unless it is later found to be due to natural causes.

The Coroner's Inquiry is held in open court and looks into the full circumstances of the death, including whether any person is criminally involved in the cause of the death.

Police investigations are presented fully to the Coroner for this purpose.

Ms Liu said: 'While the date of the Coroner's Inquiry has not been fixed, the case has been fixed for further court mention on 17 Apr.

'The mention will be via video-link between the State Coroner and police investigators and no other witnesses or persons will be present.'

This is to ascertain the progress of investigations as of the date of the mention.

Ms Liu added: 'Police investigations are continuing and the police will be thorough in their investigations to establish what actually happened.

'The family of David Widjaja will be kept informed of further developments on the case.'

Pearly Tan, newsroom intern

When is taking photos in public an outrage of modesty??

Personally I dun like strangers to take photos of me. I suppose I dun think I am that photogenic or nice looking that someone would want to take my photos.

And if a stranger wanted to take my photo, it's probably so that person can post it somewhere and make fun or ridicule me online.

So yeah, I would chase down someone whom I think took my photos without my permission. And I would also call the police in. And if the person run away in guilt, yeah, I would give chase.

BUT, as a hobbyist photographer, I love taking photos of my surroundings and people around me. I dun target anyone in particularly. I just take photos of groups of people in public.

But should someone object to me taking a photo with them inside, I would let them see my camera and delete that photo. No guilty conscience.

For this news article, the whole incident is just TOO fishy!

Sorry but I think this lady is way too paranoid! And she could not provide evidence to substantiate the incident.

She could not provide copies of her police report or complaint to the magistrate cos she threw them away.

What crap! Frankly, would you throw away something like this?

She could not showed the apology by the man either!

So it's her word against the man. A tall fishy tale, likely.

Anyway, it's NOT an offence to take a photo if the person is not in a compromising position. Or if the lady's modesty is not compromised.

----------------------------

New Paper
8 April 2009

When is a person's modesty insulted?

Did woman who accused shop assistant of taking her photo without permission overreact?

By Benson Ang

IF SOMEONE took a photo of you in a public place without getting your permission, would you ignore it and go on your way?

Or would you confront the person, demand to see the picture and ask for an apology?

Or even, like this woman, go to the police and file a magistrate's complaint, despite the man's denials and her failure to find any such picture?

In February, Miss Simone Erasmus was in an electronics store in Paya Lebar when she noticed a shop assistant snapping pictures of her with his handphone camera.

She and her boyfriend then confronted the man and demanded that he show them the pictures of her that he had allegedly taken.

They could not find any pictures, but complained to his manager and claimed they eventually got an apology from the man.

Taking pictures in public

It is generally not against the law to take photos of people in public.

According to the law, whether a person's modesty is insulted depends on the facts and the circumstances of the case, as well as the conduct of the person taking the photograph.

Mr Edmond Pereira, 59, a criminal lawyer and former district judge, told The New Paper that if a photo was taken of a fully-dressed woman in a public place, it is hard to argue that her modesty has been compromised, or that the person taking the photograph had any intention to insult her modesty.

The photographer in such a situation is not legally bound to show any of the photos to a woman who may have been photographed.

Nor is he obliged to delete any of the photos, even if the woman asks him to.

Mr Pereira said that only photos taken to sexually exploit a woman's image can amount to an insult to her modesty.

For example, if the photo was taken up a woman's skirt, or when she was in a state of undress, like in a changing room.

In such a situation, the woman should call the police. She should try to ensure that the suspect does not leave the scene. And she should wait for the police and leave it to them to deal with the suspect.

In this case, Miss Erasmus, 26, a writer for a publishing house, believed that it was wrong for the man to photograph her.

She claimed the shop assistant took a photo of her skirt on a weekday evening.

Miss Erasmus said she was in the shop with her research engineer boyfriend Daryl Lam, 28, and his aunt.

As they were shopping for a TV set, she said she noticed one of the shop assistants sitting on a stool about an arm's length away from her.

According to her, he was holding his phone in front of him with his arm extended, and it was aimed at her skirt.

She claimed she even heard the phone's clicking sound when photos were taken.

Miss Erasmus said she was wearing a long-sleeved blouse and a brown skirt which ended about 8cm above her knee.

She said that when she glared at him, the shop assistant made eye contact with her, and immediately walked away.


SHOCKED: Miss Erasmus re-enacting her shocked reaction in a posed photo. TNP PICTURE: KELVIN CHNG

She told the shop assistant to delete the photos, but he said he did not take any.

She would not reveal the name of the shop and claimed she could not remember the exact date on which this happened.

Miss Erasmus said she was frightened and embarrassed, but left the shop with Mr Lam, who wanted to confront the shop assistant.

He later told The New Paper: 'Even if he took a normal photo of her, it is not right because he did not seek her permission.

'It's not illegal, but I don't think it's proper, because it was intruding into her privacy.'

A few minutes later, they said they returned to the shop and asked to inspect the shop assistant's phone. They did, but found only photos of the man's 4-year-old daughter.

They believe that he had deleted the picture by then.

She said she later filed a complaint with the electronics shop, but was informed that during the internal investigation conducted by the shop, the man had insisted he did not take any photos.

Miss Erasmus also made a police report, and on 23Feb, approached the Subordinate Courts and got a magistrate's order directing the police to investigate her complaint.

She did not show us copies of her police report or complaint to the magistrate because she claimed she had thrown them away.

She then went to the shop again, reviewed closed-circuit television (CCTV) footage of the incident and claimed it proved what she suspected.

She said she spoke to the man again, and after some more denials, he finally admitted to taking the picture, and gave her a written apology.

She said she was unable to show us the apology.

Did she tell the shop or the man that she had got a magistrate to direct the police to investigate her complaint?

She claimed that she did not.

And she later withdrew her police report.

As far as she was concerned, she said, the case was closed.

Learn from experience

However, she said she wanted to highlight her experience in the media so that other women might learn from her experience.

She also wrote about her experience on her blog, and said she received about 40 replies, mostly from other women who had similar experiences.

Some even called her for advice, she said, although, once again, she declined to provide details.

Miss Erasmus said she has read about instances of women being photographed on the MRT or in other public places.

She said: 'These women typically glare at the 'photographer' and walk away, but their photos may eventually get onto the Internet.

'Also for me, I initially reacted typically - I was ashamed and walked away.'

After her experience, Miss Erasmus said: 'Whenever a women feels that her modesty has been insulted, I feel the guy should be confronted, and his identity should be taken down.

'Of course, it's up to her if she wants to press charges.

'However, I would like to encourage it, because it would provide closure.'

Tracking online attackers

----------------------------

New Paper
4 April 2009

When his name is smeared on the Net...

He tracks down online attacker

By Desmond Ng

A HAIRSTYLIST was perplexed when his business began nosediving suddenly last year.

He received fewer calls and, worse, some regular clients cancelled their appointments.

Mr Kenny Tan, 30, who has been running a hair salon in his Hougang flat for the past two years, said his business dropped by more than 50 per cent.

Suspecting something amiss, he did an online search for his name and found the likely source of his problems.

Someone had criticised his services under an assumed name on a popular fashion and beauty website last May.

The person who went by the name 'AmandaS' had posted: 'Cut my hair into holes... Perm my hair bloat up... Appointment was said to be at 9am, end up delay to 10am when I reach there at 9.15am.

'I believe his webpage is kind of bullshit. Please don't go there, regret forever. I now need to get any haircut to save my haircut.'

The remarks angered Mr Tan.

'I was very agitated when I read the post. The accusations were not true,' he told The New Paper.

'Even if this person was unhappy with my services, he should have told me directly so that I can rectify it. It's just irresponsible to do such a thing.'

He recalled that several clients called to cancel their appointments at about the same time the comments were posted online.

'It was strange because all of a sudden, my business started to slow down tremendously,' he added.

Mr Tan said he had no idea who posted the comments and felt helpless because he thought that there was nothing he could do about it.

But he refused to just accept the online abuse, so he called the police, who advised him to make a magistrate's complaint.

After he made the complaint, the police managed to track down the person who posted the comments.

Mr Tan came face to face with his online attacker during a mediation session at the Subordinate Courts last December.

It turned out that AmandaS is actually Jackson Lim, a 19-year-old polytechnic student who had gone to Mr Tan to perm his hair last year.

No complaints

Mr Tan said he remembered Jackson as a customer, but he did not complain about the services then.

During the mediation, Jackson admitted his mistake, Mr Tan said.

Mr Tan said he would let the matter rest and not take up a civil suit against him, provided that he remove his comments on the website, apologise online to him and place an apology notice in The Straits Times Classifieds section.


IN BLACK AND WHITE: Mr Tan holds up the formal apology issued to him by Jackson. The notice which appeared in The Straits Times on 28 Mar. TNP PICTURES: DESMOND NG

In the notice which was published last Saturday, Jackson apologised to Mr Tan for the wrongful accusation of his hairstyling service in a website forum. He said the advertisement served as a gesture of his sincere apology.

Mr Tan said the online apology helped boost his business - a few new clients have called him since.

'But some damage has been done. My reputation has been affected and this is my livelihood we're talking about. I've lost some clients,' he said.

Jackson's father, taxi driver Lim See Thim, who accompanied his son to court, said he paid about $600 for the apology notice.



Said the 58-year-old in Mandarin: 'My son said that he posted the comments online because he didn't like his (Mr Tan) services. I think it's a small matter and we've already settled it.

'I've wasted enough time going to court. I just want to settle the issue and forget about it.'

Lawyer Roy Yeo said that in such circumstances, the hairdresser could possibly sue for defamation, loss of business and reputation.

Mr Tan's case shows that people who hide behind an online monicker to flame someone in cyberspace can still be caught and suffer the consequences.

Said Mr Yeo: 'If the comments are defamatory, there are ways to find out who posted the comments and to trace the person.'

Glum Times

----------------------------

New Paper
4 April 2009

S'poreans most pessimistic, shows survey of PMEBs

Why I feel S'poreans are so glum

By Ng Tze Yong

IS THE future a heap of contradictions for many Singaporeans?

It is vibrant - Singapore is pulling out all stops to become a throbbing, global city.

At the same time, it is uncertain - we are just a little red dot tossed by global tides.

Can the latter account for the pessimism reflected in the AXA survey? Several past surveys have similarly shown up this pessimistic streak.

Is it possible to be vibrantly glum?

Or gloomily vibrant?

How would that feel?

It's not an oxymoron. It's the reality of life for the middle-class Singaporeans surveyed by AXA - professionals, managers, executives and businessmen (PMEBs) with monthly income levels of $2,500 and above.

We are the lucky ones who benefited from the toil of our parents.

Today, we have the cash, we have travelled, and we are the ones with the means to make this city truly bustling and vibrant.

We can afford to visit fancy restaurants. We count among our circle of friends the expats and permanent residents who have settled here.

Many of us are patrons of the Biennales and assorted arts festivals.

In short, our lives throb and add to the vibrancy of living in one of the most bustling cities today.

But deep down there can also be an emptiness.

You feel it yourself sometimes; you hear about it from friends all the time.

Happiness comes up often as a topic of conversation among us, surfacing in many ways.

Sometimes, it's a philosophical discussion that stretches into the night.

Other times, it slips out when a bank officer friend muses about his job, half-drunk, at the end of a long night.

It comes out disguised as restlessness, in our thirst for exotic travel.

And returns as amazement, when we describe in awe how happy children in a poor Cambodian village were.

Temporary relief

Shopping, spending, splurging, on oneself, on the wife or kids - these things help banish a sense of a lack of purpose.

But by and large, we see ourselves leading lives in the fast lane, blindly trailing the car in front.

We spend our lives climbing up the ladder until, at the end of it all, we realise it was leaning against the wrong wall.

Still, to dismiss this gloom as whining may be simplistic.

The middle-class, affluent Singaporeans got to where they are today because they made use of the opportunities gifted to them, fought their way through school and out of childhoods in cramped two-room flats.

They are proven fighters.

But what is it, then, that makes such fighters whine? Is it insufficient money, rootedness or love?

In my view, we are unhappy simply because we want to be happy.

We are not willing to settle for a meaningless existence.

We care about what we live for, even if we don't know exactly what it is.

We are willing to be unhappy for the sake of being happy, rather than settle for a bland, mediocre existence.

Now, that wouldn't be another contradiction, would it?

The Facebook Bitch

This is what I called a Bitch.

Sigh. People these days are just so vengeful and vindictive.

Eh...I really dun know the guy, but I know of many young pathetic horny guys like him.

Is it necessary for her to go all the way to get rid of a horny guy who wanted to know her? All she need to do is just to block the fella pestering her.

And the worse thing is the facebook bitch is a teacher in training! Yeah, that's right, this vindictive bitch is going to be a teacher to little kids in the future.

Isn't that a horrible idea?

And yet what she did is not even considered "criminal", and as such the police cannot do anything about her.

And neither can her school, National Institute of Education, cos it's a "private matter".

Well, what can the poor horny dude, Ong JZ do except to just chalk this up as a bad learning experience.

------------------------------

The New Paper
2 Apr 2009

Facebook face-off

Man: Woman & friends left me with big bill at bar Woman: We did it because he was a show-off

IT SOUNDED harmless enough - a drink with a group of new friends.

By Liew Hanqing

IT SOUNDED harmless enough - a drink with a group of new friends.

But soon after, the gathering turned sour, and Mr Ong Jian Zhao, 21, found himself left alone at a bar, with a $213 bill to settle on behalf of people he hardly knew.

Mr Ong, a civil servant, got to know Miss Chloe Yoong, 21 - one of the members of the group - through social networking site Facebook last month.

He said: 'I was randomly browsing through profiles and I decided to send her a message.'

After several messages over the course of a few days, they exchanged handphone numbers.

He then asked her out several times, but each time, she declined saying she was busy.

But on the evening on 28 Feb, Mr Ong received an SMS from her inviting him for a drink at Raffles Hotel's Long Bar with her, her boyfriend and three other friends.

Said Mr Ong: 'I was reluctant at first, but she told me to join them anyway and not to be a wet blanket.'

He recalled that when he arrived, there were already several drinks on the table - two cocktails, a glass of bourbon and a bottle of red wine.

He then chatted with the group for a while.

But after about 20 minutes, Miss Yoong and one friend left, claiming they were going to the toilet.

Shortly after, while Mr Ong was away taking a phone call, two others left.

When he returned to the table, only Miss Yoong's boyfriend remained.

But he, too, left immediately, saying he had to take a call.

Mr Ong claimed he waited for about 30 minutes for the group to return but nobody showed up.

When he SMSed Miss Yoong, she claimed to have left with a friend who was not feeling well.

He then paid the $213 bill for the drinks and left.

He told The New Paper he believed the evening was planned by the group of friends to get him into paying for the drinks.

He said he had repeatedly tried to ask Miss Yoong for his money back after the session but she had been uncontactable. He even contacted the National Institute of Education, where Miss Yoong is studying, hoping to get hold of her.

However, he was told to settle the matter on his own.

When contacted, both Miss Yoong and her boyfriend, Mr Alex Lim, 25, confirmed the incident.

Mr Lim said they had decided to leave Mr Ong to settle the bill because he had implied that he wanted to pay for the drinks.

He said: 'When he came over, he kept bragging about how well he was doing and how well-off he was.

'It is ridiculous that he is asking us for the money back.'

Miss Yoong added that in their exchanges on Facebook, Mr Ong said he had planned to treat her to a drinking or clubbing session.

Did not expect her friends

Mr Ong did not dispute this, but said he had only planned to take Miss Yoong out, but not her friends.

Said Miss Yoong: 'When he first sent me a message, he said he didn't have a stable relationship with his girlfriend.

'He asked me out to go clubbing or for drinks, and said he wanted to treat me.'

She added that she began to get annoyed by Mr Ong's persistent requests and decided to 'get him off her back' once and for all.

'It happened that my boyfriend was around (on the night of the incident) so we asked him to join us.'

Immediately after he paid the bill, Mr Ong reported the incident to the police but was advised to settle the matter privately with her.

However, he claimed he has been unable to contact her since.

The New Paper contacted Miss Yoong at the number provided by Mr Ong without any problem.

He said calls and SMSes to her handphone went unanswered, and she later deleted him from her contact list on Facebook as well.

What he hopes for is an apology and his money back.

When asked if they would accede to Mr Ong's request, Mr Lim said: 'Are you kidding?'

He added: 'It would be a different matter if he had been polite and nice.

'But after all that bragging, it was really difficult to be cordial to him.'

Let's talk about Death!

Channel NewsAsia
3 Apr 2009

Being a burden to one's family, medical cost and pain -- these are Singapore residents' top three fears about death, as revealed in a first ever survey on death attitudes in Singapore.

Commissioned by the Lien Foundation, the island-wide survey polled 800 people between the ages of 25 and 59 from October 2008 to January 2009.

The survey was conducted by Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

When asked about the top three most important things when one is dying or at the last stages of a terminal illness, the respondents said they want to be free from pain, surrounded by loved ones and to be conscious and able to communicate.

Eight in 10 respondents said they knew that hospices provide care for the terminally ill, but half of them did not know that hospices also provide daycare services and care in the homes of the terminally ill.

Only two in 10 are open to the idea of being in a hospice so that they can receive adequate care.

Six in 10 respondents said they are comfortable talking about their own death or dying.

But they are not comfortable talking about death or dying to someone who is terminally ill.

Paper Wealth for the Dead

----------------------------

New Paper
2 April 2009

PAPER WEALTH

Buying unusual items to burn for the dead during Qing Ming Festival

THE dead want to be fashionable.

They want matching lacy bra and panty sets, fashionable bikinis, and the latest designer-styled handbags and wallet sets.

They want treadmills to keep them fit, and heavily padded massage chairs to relax them and keep them pampered.

The young and the young-at-heart want their fast-food meals.


HOT ITEMS: (Above) A designer-styled bag, a massage chair and a treadmill, all made of paper. (Below) A fast food meal minus the food. TNP PICTURES: PEARLY TAN

These are some of the mind-boggling things people buy to burn at this year's Qing Ming Festival, also known as Tomb Sweeping Day, which falls on Saturday.

Mr Ang Chee Kiong, 52, owner of It Tian Heong, an incense shop at Geylang Lorong 7, said that there are more customers today looking for uncommon items.

'Clothes and food are still the most popular but we have more requests for things like yachts and aeroplanes,' said Mr Ang.



Another example is firearms, which are hot this year.

From hand pistols to machine guns, customers can choose whatever weapon they would like to equip their dead with.



Price

Prices range from less than $5 to the most expensive item - the karaoke set, which costs $60.

He said in Mandarin: 'These (guns) are our new items. People have been requesting for them for a long time, but no one has dared to bring them in so far.

'Most people buy them for their relatives who were in the army or who were policemen.'

Customers also often ask Mr Ang for recommendations to the latest fashion available.

Mrs Pauline Leck, 45, who was buying some accessories and shirts for her late husband at the store when The New Paper visited, sought his opinion.

Said Mrs Leck, whose husband died two months ago: 'I want to get the latest clothes for him. It must be the best.'

With higher standards of living, more people are seeking ways to help their relatives enjoy the same luxury.

To meet the entertainment needs of the dead, billiard tables, basketballs and mahjong sets are also available.

For some, ready-made items are insufficient.

Shopowners told The New Paper that there have been customers who have made requests for unusual items.

'We allow orders for custom-made things like jackpot machines,' said Mr P K Lim, in his 50s, owner of Lim Sam Seng incense shop.

At another incense shop in Chinatown, requests had been made for life-sized items.

Shop owner Mr Teo Bee Kim, 58, said: 'We have had customers asking for big aeroplanes, but we told them to just buy the ready-made ones.

'Most of the things we sell are manufactured and imported from China. I don't think anyone in Singapore has the skills to make them anymore.'

Mr Lim said that the strangest request they had from a customer was an order for a tractor.

'He (the customer) explained that his relative was a construction worker before and he wanted him to be able to do what he knew in the afterlife.'

But it appears that the recession has hit the industry, too.

All the incense shops visited by The New Paper reported a 10 to 20 per cent fall in sales compared to last year.

Mr Ang said: 'People have not stopped buying, but most are buying less. We also cannot set prices too high, if not people will not buy.'

Pearly Tan and Bernice Huang, newsroom interns

Letter from the family of the late Dr Allan Ooi

Allan Ooi's family has wrote in to the forum. They are seeking "an inquiry by an independent panel with oversight powers" to find out the truth about his death.

And should the truth ever be uncovered in years and years to come, would the public be notified?

Nope, I dun think so. This is the military and it deals with the issue of national defence security. And the truth could very well unravel the image and reputation of the SAF which the government has been trying so hard to protect.

And so the public is waiting to see what sort of response SAF would have towards this demand of an inquiry. Would they set up an independent panel or would they just try to sweep the dust under their feet?

Anyway, do you know that SAF spent millions on advertising each year. They are one of the top 3 advertisers in the country.

And the purpose of such military advertisements?

As quoted....
In today's uncertain security environment, having a strong defence force and maintaining the public's confidence in the defence and security of our country are important. There is a need to continually assure the public of the operational readiness of the SAF as well as to attract the best to join the organisation through corporate advertising and communications.

Advertisements that showcase the SAF'ss commitment, varied capabilities and technological advancements serve dual objectives: confidence building of Singaporeans on our military capability and readiness and recruitment.

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SAF doctor's family responds to MINDEF's statement.

AsiaOne
31 March, 2009

We write in response to MINDEF's ST Forum statement on 23 March regarding Cpt (Dr) Allan Ooi Seng Teik, who ended his life on 3 March 2009.

Allan was proud of his SAF study award and pursued his studies and housemanship enthusiastically. His 12-year bond was to include two specialisation courses, and that it could be terminated, subject to liquidated damages.

The following is an excerpt of his last email:

"My job was terrible - no joy, no satisfaction, 10-14 hours a day of nothing. A prison. One of my own forging, perhaps, by signing a contract with the SAF at the age of 18. Youth was not an excuse, yes, but I refused to accept being deceived into believing things about the nature of my employment that were simply untrue. 12 years of bonded service became potentially 15 or 16, became unbreakable. How can a bond be unbreakable? How can it be extended at will by an administration, simply by passing a paper?

And how can the people subject to this bond not even question it, but instead sit in silent resentment and ultimate dissatisfaction?

I was angry, so angry, which stemmed ultimately from a sense of waste and imprisonment so profound that I had no choice but to leave it entirely. To the people within this system, please change it to better benefit yourselves and future generations, instead of creating a self-perpetuating cycle of, at best, painful obligation, and at worst, utter despair.

That was certainly the main cause for my severing of ties."

Other speculative reasons have appeared detracting from the real reasons for his drastic action so plaintively explained by Allan himself.

We ask for details of Allan's discussions with his superiors and how a contract is subject to policy changes, including prolonging his bond by three years for one six-month specialist course.

Importantly, why would a bond be breakable only in "strong, extenuating circumstances" when this was not stated in his contract? What are these? We now know Allan wrote to HQMC Manpower in July 2008 with the intention of breaking his bond. What was the outcome?

We feel Allan's concerns can only be addressed effectively via an inquiry by an independent panel with oversight powers. We hope to help bring possible deficiencies to light in order to avert a similar tragedy and pain to other families.

Family of the late Cpt (Dr.) Allan Ooi

MINDEF's Forum Letter on CPT(Dr) Allan Ooi

Mindef has finally responded to the media news of death of Allan Ooi.

Frankly, when such shit hit government agencies, they have to do an investigation and then sugar coated whatever could be real. The public must never know the truth!

If the truth is out, who dare to sign up for SAF scholarship in the future?

Well, what the letter did is that it explained the chain of facts that happened. It did not quite fleshed out the story behind the story.

I dun suppose we would ever know what happened to make Allan want to take his life.

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MINDEF's Forum Letter on CPT(Dr) Allan Ooi

Posted: 20 Mar 2009, 1200 hours (Time is GMT +8 hours)

The Ministry of Defence (MINDEF) and the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) extend our deepest condolences to the family of the late CPT (Dr) Ooi Seng Teik Allan.

MINDEF wishes to clarify certain facts regarding media reports on CPT (Dr) Ooi's service in the SAF and his scholarship bond.

CPT (Dr) Ooi joined the SAF in Jan 2000 and was sponsored under the Local Study Award (Medicine) for his medical studies at the National University of Singapore, and completed his housemanship in Apr 2006. Thereafter, he completed the SAF's Medical Officer Cadet Course and was commissioned in Aug 2006. He then served for one and a half years in the Air Force Medical Service.

He was sponsored by the SAF for further specialist training in Aviation Medicine in the United Kingdom in Jan 2008. Upon completing this course in Jul 2008, he was posted to the Aeromedical Centre to perform clinical and staff work. CPT (Dr) Ooi was scheduled to go for his hospital posting at the end of 2009.

While serving at the Aeromedical Centre CPT (Dr) Ooi informed his superior that he was unhappy at work and was considering leaving the SAF. On 3 Oct 2008, his superior offered him the option of posting to an appointment which he would be interested in.

CPT (Dr) Ooi agreed to consider this option and to get back to his superior in two weeks' time. However, he did not do so. He also did not submit any application to leave the SAF. CPT (Dr) Ooi went Absent Without Official Leave on 15 Oct 2008.

Recipients of the Local Study Award (Medicine) are required to serve a 12-year bond after completing their housemanship. Of these 12 years, 6 years will be spent in hospitals to acquire clinical competency in fields needed by the SAF. The other 6 years will be spent in command and staff positions with the SAF Medical Corps performing duties such as the clinical care of SAF servicemen, and professional development of military medicine.

SAF officers who take up sponsorship have a responsibility to serve the full period of their bonds as substantial resources and time have been devoted to training them. Otherwise they will leave gaps in key positions in the SAF. Nevertheless, if an officer wishes to leave the service early, he can submit an application through a proper process. Approval to leave the service will be granted only under strong and extenuating circumstances.

Colonel Darius Lim
Director Public Affairs
Ministry of Defence

Allan Ooi farewell email

The chinese papers, Sin Ming Daily has published a translation of Allan Ooi's supposedly last farewell email on 12 March 2009.

However, according to information on the Blogosphere, the papers also has omitted certain "sensitive" portion of the original letter because it involves the military and the government.

Below is the newspaper article, from Sin Ming 12 Mar 2009.

Is the letter really authentic? Really from Allan Ooi ? Or is it just an elaborated hoax cooked up to tarnish Allan Ooi 's reputation?

I reserved my comments for this post for the time being.

Just read and judge for yourself.

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Below is the supposedly last farewell that is circulating around. Rumors are that it MAY be published in part or full by the main English papers in the next few days.








Source: The Wayang Party Club

Nigeria Marriage Scams

Nigeria is like the con city of the world.

And this is not just any discriminating statement. I am not racist or discriminating against any countries but the name Nigeria seemed to appear regularly whenever online scams or cons are mentioned.

That is one of the main reasons that a lot of companies everywhere dun ship to Nigeria. Chances are that they wun get paid. This is backed by bad experiences.

And I repeat myself. I am not against Nigeria, but if I received any email or offers or whatever from Nigeria, I just delete them.

So beware of any cyber stuff originating from Nigeria. Chances are it's a scam.

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New Paper
31 Aug 2008

I want to marry you, send me money

Woman's online search for love attracts 'suitors' from Nigeria. They claimed to be expatriates but asked her to send them money so they could come to Singapore to marry her.

-TNP
Elysa Chen


WHEN a Singaporean woman went online in search of a life partner, she received several offers of marriage. But it was not wedding bells but alarm bells that went off in her head.

The reason: The proposals were from men in Nigeria.

And, rightly or wrongly, the mere mention of the African nation summons visions of scams.

The woman, a 47-year-old accounts executive who wanted to be known only as Josephine, is sure her suitors are con men targeting lonely women with false promises of love and marriage.

They claimed to be expatriates working in the oil industry in Nigeria but asked her to send them money so they could come to Singapore to marry her.

Ms Josephine recently posted her profile on the Singapore Expats forum, hoping to find a man who could commit to a long-term relationship and eventually marry her.

But when she received six e-mail replies from different men in Nigeria, each promising marriage, she became suspicious. She said: 'If I had never heard of so many scams from Nigeria, I would have been thrilled.

'I have never been popular with men and most don't take a second look at me. So, when so many guys were interested in me and telling me how much they loved me by their third e-mail, at the back of my mind, I found it unbelievable.'

'Widowers'

First, these 'widowers' wooed her with poems and showed her pictures of their children. They also spun heart-wrenching tales of how their wives had died during childbirth and told her that she was 'the perfect mother' for their children.

Of course, she had no idea whether the pictures were real. But the stories, because they were so similar, got her suspicious.

Within days of getting to know her, they would ask her for money. Most asked her to send sums ranging from $2,000 to $3,000.

One asked her to buy him a laptop and ship it to Nigeria.

The most frightening request was from a man who went by the name of Houston. He claimed he was from the Cayman Islands and asked Ms Josephine to open a bank account in Singapore so that he could transfer millions of dollars to her.

With wide-eyed horror, she said: 'He could have been trying to use me to launder money.'

Even if she were unaware of Nigerian scams, Ms Josephine said she would not have fallen victim as she finds it 'too difficult to part with her hard-earned money'.

Emotional blackmail

When she did not accede to their requests, the men resorted to 'using four-letter words' on her or emotionally blackmailing her by asking her to send the money for the sake of their children.

One even went as far as to call himself her husband.

Laughing, Ms Josephine said: 'We haven't even met, and he's saying that he is my husband.

'They must have thought that I was one of those airheads whose heart would melt the moment they said they loved me and give them all my money.'

Although she had mentally prepared herself for fake offers, it was still 'devastating' that every suitor ended up asking her for money.

Her sister, Mrs Elaine Wee, 45, said: 'This is the cruellest thing that anyone can do to a single woman. I was so indignant for not only my sister, but all the other women that these men were out to cheat by playing with their feelings.'

Ms Josephine, who has spent about $8,000 on local and foreign matchmaking agencies, has one simple wish: To find a nice, honest man she can go home to after a hard day's work.

Smiling, she said: 'Somewhere out there, there might be someone for me. I'm not going to just give up.'

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SAME CON, NEW TWISTS

iPHONE TWIST

Conmen post advertisements on the Internet to sell iPhones, but unsuspecting buyers end up empty-handed after sending the money. A Singapore student was cheated of $1,600.

EPL TWIST

They pretend to represent top English Premiership clubs. Victims are duped into sending money in the belief that they are paying official registration fees to have a trial at Premiership clubs.

STRANDED ABROAD TWIST

They hack into someone's Hotmail account and send e-mail to people in the person's address book. The recipients are asked to send money to help the Hotmail account-holder, who is stranded during a holiday in Nigeria.

Former Singapore Idol finalist Jeassea Thyidor had similar experience with her Hotmail account.

LONELY WOMAN TWIST

They pose as pretty and lonely women in trouble and ask victims to send them money so they can fly to meet them.

A tale of two press conferences

I used to organise press conference in my previous job.

And I missed that. The press invites, preparing the location, food, press kit etc. I missed it all.

It has been a long while since I organised or attended any press conference.

I included this article in my blog cos I see the humor in it.

---------------------------

New Paper
31 Aug 2008

A tale of two press conferences

PRESS conferences can be some of the most inane events on the planet.

By Ng Tze Yong

COMMENT

PRESS conferences can be some of the most inane events on the planet. They are often tediously formal and humourless, a long-drawn merry-go-round that leaves you more baffled than informed - cushioned, of course, by the nice folders and souvenir pens.

But this is a story of two interesting press conferences which took place this past week.

The first, held in a cozy function room at the Botanical Gardens on Monday, was held to announce the new rules at Speakers' Corner.

The second, held yesterday at the Grand Copthorne Hotel, dealt with the liberalisation of another place - cyberspace.

Both marked landmark events. Interesting, also, because if you watched closely, the body language told you more than the press release resting on your lap.

It is like a peek backstage, just before the curtains rise for a perfect orchestration.

The Speakers' Corner press conference was a brisk, efficient affair, co-chaired by the police and NParks.

On the plush chairs, the police officers sat erect, radiating competence. Beside them, the NParks officials sat, slouching just a little, perhaps a hint of reluctance on their faces: The new rules would require the handing over of that hot potato, Speakers' Corner, from the cops to the park rangers.

Questions

Just how - exactly - would it work?

You could see the spark in each reporter's eyes - they were waiting for the field day to begin.

'Would there be plainclothes policemen?' A polite laugh from the police, and a speech on the operational needs of police work.

Can protesters do this? Can they do that? The common refrain: Anything goes, except race and religion, but safety first.

Then, the killer question came: Can protesters burn effigies of PM Lee?

Silence. Then, COO NParks turned over his palms and explained in a mixture of exasperation and resignation. Sure, he said. 'Just don't burn down the shrubs and the trees.'

Later, back in the newsroom, I called the police and asked: Can protesters burn a Singapore flag?

The act is illegal. But could it be allowed, if considered as part of a lawful demonstration? There were 'hmmm's and 'erm's over the crackling phone line.

I was advised to seek clarification from somewhere else. The rest of the conversation was declared off-the-record.

Before we hung up, it was re-emphasised to me again, almost apologetically: Just no race, no religion, can already.

Later in the evening, a wag SMSed me: 'Would a demo to 'say no to racism' pass or fail the test?'

And 'haha :)' was my reply.

Which makes a nice transition to the press conference that came a few days later, whose target audience was not the shouters and the crazies, but the savvy eGeneration, who crave just as much to be heard.

In a hotel function room, they discussed Xiaxue, Facebook and YouTube, chaired by a panel with stern-faced members ranging from CEOs to a professor of philosophy.

Let's talk

It was not a briefing. It was an in-depth discussion. Their message: Loosen up. But caution - and consultation - were the key words.

Unlike the lightning PowerPoint presentation and slim press release at the Speakers' Corner press conference, this one came with a detailed 103-page report, with detailed bibliography and methodology.

We don't pretend to know the answers, said a member of the panel. It went a long way in tempering the scepticism.

There is black and there is white. PM Lee is leading us into the middle grey. But grey is a difficult area to straddle.

The two press conferences tried to do it. The cyberspace guys populated it with questions and suggestions.

The police and NParks broad-brushed it with vague allusions to catch phrases, and a sudden invitation to come create a ruckus.

I left it feeling baffled, doubtful and unassured.

The other one, I left feeling a little more hopeful.