Online forums are a very wicked and bitchy place. I know. I have been there.
Some years back, I became a member of a lifestyle forum. Initially it was fun and there was a wealth of knowledge to be mined out there.
I even became a senior member with a few thousands posts, chalking the top poster position for some weeks.
And then I think I might have offended someone with something I said unwittingly. Some members were tearing apart this fellow in the news and I stepped in to defend him. I did not know the fellow but I felt that if you dun know the fellow and real facts that really happened in life, dun go around and bash him online. Based on some news article, some of the bitches were threatening to beat this guy up and sending him death threats!
And boy, I was also torn apart and mutilated online. They were just bitching and criticizing every single post I wrote in the forum, relevant or not relevant. There were some who were my "supporters" though.
Frankly I was disappointed and disgusted with some of the bitches online. I mean, just because it is on cyber world, and that you can hide behind a nick, it did not give you the right to attack others online.
Say it to me in my face if you dare, person to person and we can even have a bitch fight!
I was also another member of another forum.
Well, this one was even worse. Some of the moderators were so fucking bitchy bullies! They took sides with certain favored members, deleted posts and even topics that they personally dun like, etc. In other words, they abused their authorities and privileges.
Frankly, I gave up. The real world was bitchy and treacherous enough and this online cyber world was even worse. The netizens and members can simply be so vicious and poisonous. And I dun think they are like that in real life. Frankly, some of the things people said online are not what they would say in person, face to face.
That is not so genuine and sincere.That is so fake! It's like in real life, they are sweet and nice. But online, with anonymity and no one to see their real identity, they can be their own evil, demonic, bitchy self.
I was unhappy and in some way affected by some of of those bitches were saying. And SO advised me against visiting the forums. I was happy when I first discovered the joys of posting and sharing on online forums. But I was miserable when people just did not have anything good to say. I had enough of online forums.
I have stopped visiting online forums regularly. There is a wealth of information out there, but it is not really worth the drama, the bitchiness, the cruelty. I got better things in life.
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The Straits Times
15 Aug 2008
Youth online
Terror on the WebWith growth of online connectivity, bullies unleash their malice on the Internet
By Sujith Kumar
JAMES Tan was 15 by the time he stood up to his school bullies. After being harassed for years at his Bedok secondary school, he took them on in a fist fight.
After the challenge, they backed off - or so he thought. Months later, they launched a different campaign, this time online.
On Friendster, a social networking site, his profile was hijacked. Cyberbullies rewrote his personal information, changing his address to Geylang and calling his relatives pimps and prostitutes. The bullies posted pictures of naked men and women on his webpage before sending lewd messages to his female classmates.
The coup de grace: They changed the password to his account and e-mail so that he could not log on to remove the information. 'I wanted to get those pictures off, but I couldn't log on, couldn't get in, couldn't get the account deleted,' said James, who left his secondary school last year to study culinary arts.
'There was nothing I could do.'
His case is not unique. A Straits Times survey of 100 teens aged 13 to 17 showed that all had some encounter with online bullying one way or another. A third of all respondents said they had been victims of persistent online attacks. Of this one-third, 50 per cent said bullies spread stories, rumours and lies about them.
As technology marches forward, experts worry that the wired generation could become increasingly victimised online.
The executive director of website WiredSafety, Ms Parry Aftab, said: 'Cyberbullying growth in the region is enormous. I expect that in Singapore, where everyone is connected via broadband and mobile devices, you will see similar growth.'
Victims are usually insulted on blogs, in Internet chatrooms and during online gaming.
Teens tell The Straits Times it does not take much to get them to be mean - just boredom. One 13-year-old victim, who wanted to be identified only as Davi, recalled how, as a newcomer to her school two years ago, classmates sent her nasty messages about her sexuality at a video-sharing website.
Soon, strangers joined in the slandering. 'They didn't even know me because they were from all over the world,' she said.
Indeed, about 30 per cent of young people in The Straits Times' survey said they themselves had bullied others.
Ms Esther Ng, founder of the Coalition Against Bullying for Children and Youths (Cabcy), has witnessed bullies in the making. Even fine students, she said, are prone to 'revenge or the urge to hurt someone else'.
James, for one, said he no longer feared his old school bullies catching up with him. When asked what he would do if they did, he said: 'I don't know, but I have knives now.'
No place is safeTHE explosion of social networking sites, gaming communities and Internet forums has created ample opportunities for cyber-bullies.
Because these hot spots are accessible from home, victims may feel that there is no safe place for them, said Ms Geraldine Tan, a psychologist at Centre for Effective Living, a private clinic. 'Cyber-bullying can also be more dangerous than physical bullying as the victim may not know his abuser and the bully is unable to see the extent of the damage.'
At sites like MySpace and Facebook, teens say incidents begin with comparisons about who has the most number of friends.
Gamers pick on weaker players, while in chatrooms, insults are hurled. Blog tagboards attract sarcastic remarks, while online forums breed personal attacks that include defaced pictures of victims.
Reports and studies conducted by experts all over the world say bullying also differs between the sexes.
Girls go for relational bullying, which includes backstabbing, gossip and social exclusion. Boys prefer direct aggression, such as killing their target's game character and hurling vulgarities.
One player, John, said: 'I was playing an online game and a friend swore at me over the Internet voice chat. I took revenge by killing the guy multiple times in the game.'
A 16-year-old - who wanted to be known only as Magdelene - faced a female cyber-bully who wrote on her blog: 'You're so fake and your English sucks.' 'I was upset, of course, but what could I do?' said the Secondary 4 student who attends a school in Ang Mo Kio.
When online aggression becomes offline reality, Ms Tan said, some victims feel lost and 'haunted'.
Being victimised in a place where parents cannot help 'can force a teen to develop extreme coping strategies such as withdrawal, self-mockery and rage', said Dr Ilya Farber, an assistant professor of social science and philosophy at the Singapore Management University.
Other experts say victims should save the evidence and report online attacks to parents, teachers or counsellors. In the worst cases, the law too can protect victims.
Mr Adrian Tan, a litigator with Drew and Napier who specialises in IT disputes, said cyber-bullying might be an offence under the Miscellaneous Offences Act, which carries a fine of up to $5,000.
Anonymous abusers, if caught, face tougher consequences. 'They will be given an additional punishment of two years' jail, according to Section 507 of the Penal Code, which discusses criminal intimidation by anonymous communication,' he said.
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Dare to flame? Then name and shame!# What online bullies and victims do, and steps taken to curb cyberbullying:Boasting: In one recent case, a victim attracted online rage at a forum by boasting about his great looks. Next thing he knew, his pictures were defaced and he was mocked.
Flame of the forum: Online bullies tend to 'flame' other users on a whim, especially at forums, where different views are expressed. A check on discussion threads at popular forum sites such as HardwareZone and VR-Zone reveals various personal attacks.
Defending the victim: Comments posted can go either way. Although some are cruel, others may tell bullies to back off if users feel they have gone too far.
Trolling: This refers to posting controversial and sometimes nonsensical messages on forums, aiming to extract emotionally charged responses from users.
Retaliation: Some teens fight back by arguing with the bullies, sometimes exchanging vulgar insults. Others remain silent, hoping for the attacks to die down.
Un-moderators: Online forums have guardians in the form of moderators who are often senior members, but not all are kind in nature. Some are even guilty of bullying.
Name and shame: Forum participants, like Mr Sitoh Kheng Wai, 22, want bullies named and shamed. 'Offenders should be hauled up and punished by moderators. If a few red faces can lower the incidence of cyberbullying among students, why not?' said the third-year biotechnology student at the University of Queensland, Australia.
Banned list: Forums such as The Straits Times online portal Stomp publicly lists banned and warned members. Administrators remove offending comments, warn perpetrators and ban users. Stomp editor Serene Siew explained: 'Stomp has a no-tolerance rule for flaming and bullying.'
Awareness: As many as 25 secondary schools are helping students with 'cyberwellness' programmes. Cases of bullying are treated with corrective action emphasising counselling and mediation.
'Sense, Think, Act': This is the Ministry of Education's message to students in its School Bullying Management Kit, distributed to all secondary and primary schools last year. It helps them to detect threats online and take precautions.
Primary 4 to 6 pupils and Secondary 2 and 3 students will be given a 'cyberwellness' guidebook next month. The guide will go digital from next year.
To report cyberbullying, visit
www.hrtd.com.sg/CABCY
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