New AWARE woman in the hot seat

New Paper
17 April 2009


LATEST: AWARE PRESIDENT ANNOUNCED

New woman in the hot seat

By Benson Ang

SINCE they were voted in late last month, the new committee of the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) had remained tight-lipped.

And yesterday evening, when the committee met for the first time, it was no different.

When The New Paper arrived at the Aware Centre along Dover Crescent at 6.30pm, three of the committee members were already there.

Then other members showed up and entered the centre, ignoring queries by the media. One woman even shielded her face with a plastic file as she hurried in.

Why was a committee member of a high-profile organisation so apprehensive about showing her face? No answers were forthcoming.

Late meeting

Their meeting ran from 7pm till 11pm, after which they announced the new president to replace veteran member Claire Nazar, who had resigned without providing a reason less than a week after being voted in .

Ms Josie Lau Meng-Lee, 48, is now head of Singapore's foremost women's organisation, appointed by the other 10 committee members.

Previous media reports describe Ms Lau as a bank officer.


NEW BOSS: New Aware president Josie Lau. TNP PICTURES: MOHD ISHAK

After the meeting, the committee members were still tight-lipped about their backgrounds, why they had moved to take control of Aware and what they planned to do with the 24-year-old women's organisation.

But after midnight, it issued a press statement announcing Ms Lau's appointment and outlining some of its aims.

The new team said it intended to build on the solid foundations laid by the founders of Aware and continue to promote the participation of women, on equal terms with men, in political, social, economic and cultural life.

Ms Lau said in the statement: 'In these challenging times, the new team will actively seek to collaborate and align Aware with other women's organisations, with outreach to girls and women who are affected by the current economic downturn.

'The new team aims to empower women who have been retrenched and equip them with new skills.'

She said Aware will work with training agencies to launch programmes of practical assistance, including budgeting, finance and debt management, career-planning and management of change.

It will continue to provide emotional, psychological and legal support for women.

She added: 'We call on all women of Singapore to rise to the challenge of taking on leadership roles in our nation. We invite volunteers to help make Aware a positive agency of change for the beneficial transformation of our society, where all people regardless of race, religion or sex are valued and have a place under the sun.'

But the gulf between the new committee and Aware's old guard is obvious.

At about 10.15pm, Ms Caris Lim, one of the two veterans left in the new committee, walked out of the meeting, saying that she was not happy with what was happening inside.

On Tuesday, a petition signed by 160 Aware members was delivered to the new committee calling for an extraordinary general meeting (EOGM) within 14 days to improve the transparency of the situation.

Controversy has plagued Aware since an unprecedented number of new members showed up at the annual general meeting (AGM) on 28Mar and voted in the new leadership.


CHEERS: Ms Lois Ng (far left) and the other committe members applaude after their new president Josie Lau (first from left) made a short speech.

Nine of the 12 contested positions went to new members.

The long-term members are concerned with the action of new members voting enbloc at the AGM, Ms Nazar's sudden resignation and whether the new committee will continue with the vision and values of Aware.

Ms Corinna Lim, 44, a veteran Aware member, who spoke for the 160 members, said that these values were 'equality, respect, helping women in need, diversity and empowered choice'.

'Choice, choice is very important. There are rumours that the new committee is very conservative and doesn't want to promote choice...

'It just raises a lot of questions, and that's not good for Aware.'

She added that if the members were not satisfied with the answers given by the current committee, then they may call for a vote of no confidence and vote in a new committee.

An EOGM is not confirmed, but is expected to take place in about a month.

Written to forums

Some members of the new committee and the people who voted them in have written letters to The Straits Times to speak out against the repeal of Section 377a of the Penal Code, which criminalises sex between men.

In October 2007, Ms Jenica Chua, the secretary of the new committee, accused Mr Siew Kum Hong of overstepping his boundaries as a nominated Member of Parliament and of advancing the gay cause when he submitted the petition to repeal 377a.

In August 2007, Dr Alan Chin, an Aware associate member who supported the newcomers, wrote a letter warning about high-risk gay lifestyles.

When contacted, Dr Chin declined to be interviewed.

-----------------------------

New Aware committee

President:

Josie Lau Meng-Lee

Vice-president:

Charlotte Wong Hock Soon

Honorary secretary:

Jenica Chua Chor Ping

Assistant honorary secretary:

Sally Ang Koon Hian

Honorary treasurer:

Maureen Ong Lee Keang

Assistant honorary treasurer:

Chew I-Jin

Committee members:

Caris Lim Chai Leng

Catherine Tan Ling Ghim

Irene Yee Khor Quin

Lois Ng

Peggy Leong Pek Kay

Toy Boy Club

New Paper
13 April 2009

Some S'porean women spend hundreds of dollars or more to flirt with the toy boys in these KTV clubs

Tai-tai: I visit club because I can't resist temptation

By Maureen Koh and Tan Kee Yun

IN her own words, she's happily married to a businessman who lavishes her with expensive gifts and dotes on their sons.

Her two teenage boys are 'good kids, obedient and respectful'.

But all that is not stopping the 42-year-old tai-tai from seeking - and paying for - the company of toyboys at karaoke clubs.

Yes, she said she knows that her nights out could easily tear the family apart, as her husband thinks she's out playing mahjong with her tai-tai friends.

Yet, said Madam Wang, who agreed to be interviewed on condition we did not use her full name: 'The temptation is just too irresistible.

'I'd feel something was missing if I had to skip one of my regular visits to the club.'

Her regular haunt is one of several KTV-like clubs catering to women that have sprouted across Singapore.

There are at least 11 such clubs, all of which opened in the past year.

Young, good-looking men sing, dance and cuddle up with women like MadamWang at these places.

The New Paper on Sunday team spent four nights over three weeks at seven clubs in areas such as Tanjong Pagar, Katong, Jalan Besar and Shenton Way.

Women easily made up 95 per cent of the clubs' clientele - and they were treated like queens.

Whether it was raucous sleaze or discreet fun, everyone got a chance with the male hosts.

When we first spotted Madam Wang at a club in Jalan Besar around 7pm on a weekday, she was on a high chair, leaning across the glass-top table, smiling at a Thai host.

He held a slice of watermelon, teasing her. Each time she was about to nibble at the watermelon, he'd move his hand away and her lips would nearly meet his.

The routine, repeated several times in the four hours that Madam Wang was at the club, left her giggling.

She said later: 'It may sound silly to you, but he made me feel young all over again. That's one feeling I don't get from my husband any more.'

That 'youthful feeling' comes at a price. The bill for about three hours of chatting, entertainment, a plate of fruits and three jugs of beer for our team at the club came to nearly $500.

Madam Wang said she spends about $1,500 each night. If she takes a male host out to supper, it can set her back by another $150 an hour.

'Selling dreams'

Such clubs are successful because they 'sell dreams' - as it says in the club's tag line. At such places, said psychologist Richard Lim, women can 'indulge in the thrill of an alpha-female relationship' and 'fulfil their needs to be desired'. (See report on page 14.)

The club's black, wooden doors appear intimidating. But the door bitch (or bouncer) was far less intimidating than those you're likely to encounter at some other clubs.

She is likely to usher you into the dimly-lit club without much fuss - even if you have not made a reservation.

With a friendly smile, she settled her guests into the sofas, couch seats or bar stools - all arranged in a mix-and-match fashion.

There is no dress code. Women customers were dressed mostly in office attire or simple black dresses.

At two-hour intervals, about 30 male entertainers from Thailand, China, Malaysia, the Philippines, South Korea - and even Singapore - took turns to strut on the stage.

They were geared up to dazzle in smart, fashionable attire.

Some wore body-hugging shirts or tight tees that showed off their toned muscular arms. Others were suited up in sleek leather jackets and black pants.

And almost all of them sported immaculately waxed and tousled hair, like trendy pop celebrities.

After the emcee called out their numbers - no names - they stepped up and mumbled into the mike. Most times, we couldn't really hear what they said, except the names of their countries.

What followed was like what goes on in Thai discos where customers can buy flowers for their favourite entertainers, with the two floor managers approaching customers to stake their claim on their choice for the night.

Garlands of plastic flowers were priced at $30, $50 and $80, while sashes started from $100 and went up to $1,000.

There was no live band. The men sang karaoke-style and performed with much gusto and improvised dance moves.

Results varied drastically, ranging from some who could do a nifty imitation of professional singers to those who seemed to be tone-deaf.

But singing appeared to be secondary. Most of the men were young and hunky, with some sporting model looks.

Making their rounds

The men went from table to table between their sets to chat or play dice games over drinks.

They flirted and teased, sometimes with a hand on the lap, or an arm across the shoulder, a whisper or just holding hands.

Think simple 'boyfriend touches' - an effect that is probably lacking in the women's lives.

There were no vulgar moves in the club, except for the occasional over-indulgent woman. One was locked in a tight embrace with a Chinese entertainer - despite the presence of her eight women friends.

The Chinese host seemed to be the most popular, getting about $1,800 worth of garlands and sashes whenever he sang.

While the owner of the club declined to be interviewed, he insisted that the club was 'like any other normal karaoke club'.

What takes place after closing hours is beyond his control, he added.

That is when the story becomes murky, with some women and the men singing different tunes, as we discovered during our stake-out...

-------------------------

New Paper
13 April 2009

They're not just looking for sex

Experts say women visit such clubs so they can feel loved and desired

By Maureen Koh and Tan Kee Yun


DO the rising number of clubs catering to women - at least 11 which have opened in under a year - necessarily mean that women are becoming bolder or wilder?

No. It could be a sign of emotional angst.

Loneliness, said psychologist Richard Lim, is often a silent killer of marriages.

'Often, it hits women more than men,' said Dr Lim, who has been practising relationship counselling for more than 10years.

'And illicit affairs can sometimes fulfil a woman's need to be desired.'

Women who only visit such clubs may not even feel that they have broken their marriage vows.

Dr Lim explained: 'For them, they think it's harmless flirting, nothing more. And they feel that as long as sex is not involved, there's no real sense of being unfaithful.'

But it appears that sex is sometimes involved. And that, of course, may lead to complications and difficulties.

Seeking comfort

Ms Chang H M, 49, principal therapist at Care Corner Counselling Centre, told The New Paper on Sunday: 'Most of these women head to such clubs to seek comfort in their lives.

'For many years, they could not feel the love from their husbands, so from their point of view, it could very well be a scenario like this: 'Since my husband is out all the time working and making money, with no time for me at all, I'll go out, enjoy myself and spend his money'.'

She added: 'Every woman needs love. And for those few hours they are in the club, the young, handsome men working there are able to shower them with love that their husbands aren't able to.'

Sexual pleasure for women is usually closely linked to emotion, said Ms Chang.

'We cannot deny that some ladies do want to indulge in the enjoyment of sex with those young boys, but it's likely that most just want to feel loved, and are not looking for merely the physical act itself,' she added.

But Ms Chang said one should not judge and criticise the women's actions. Instead, there is a need to find out what lies at the core of their need for attention.

Ms Lim Puay Leng, 32, a senior social worker with Fei Yue Community Services, agreed.

She said: 'In many cases, the main reason for a woman seeking 'alternatives' to her marriage is that her husband is unable to meet her emotional needs.

'Some become very depressed because they are unable to get their husband's attention, and they can't share their misery with anyone else.'

Ms Lim felt that in any breakdown of a relationship in which one party has strayed, it was important to hear both parties' voices.

She explained: 'It's never one side who is totally wrong.'

Ms Lim said that in recent years, though the number of men involved in extra-marital affairs still ranks significantly higher than the number of women who do so, she has witnessed 'an increase in men who call counsellors suspecting their wives (are) straying'.

--------------------------

New Paper
13 April 2009

One host promises our reporter...

'I'll make you feel like a woman again'

WHILE most of the club performers do not end up in bed with their woman customers, some welcome the extra income.

When The New Paper on Sunday team first visited one club, one of the men offered 'more personal attention away from the public eyes' - for $150 an hour.

Number 70 - as he was introduced - also promised the reporter: 'You won't be disappointed with my service, guaranteed to make you feel like a woman again.'

All the 22 women customers who spoke to us insisted they did not have sex with the male hosts.

But the men told a different story. Most claimed that some women would drop hints about taking the entertainment to another level. And there were others who asked about rates openly.

Budget hotels were the most common rendezvous spots.

To prove he would be worth the money, No70, who is from Shanghai, provided a referral - Madam Wang.

He pointed to her and said: 'I saw you talking to her, you can ask her what she thought of my service.'

When we asked Madam Wang, she initially insisted that she only chatted with him.

But pressed further, she added: 'He was good, I was happy, but it's not all the way like you think it is.'

She did not want to give more details and subsequently avoided our calls.

But for the men at the club, extra activity can only happen after work.

The 26-year-old man did not want to confirm if the club owner knew or approved of his moonlighting.

He said: 'Let's just say we keep each other mutually happy with whatever arrangement we have.'

There was also the personal attention this reporter got from another host, Number 89 from Thailand.

He has been here for about a month and has picked up Cantonese from a fellow Thai.

Going out for supper was fine, but No 89 hesitated when asked if he'd consider other activities.

He claimed: 'I usually like to keep it clean and simple for first-time customers, until I'm really familiar with you.'

But that did not keep him from giving us his undivided attention.

And when we left abruptly on the first night while he was on the stage, he looked genuinely dejected.

Back for more

On our second night, he came by our table and said: 'Oh what happened that night? You didn't even tell me you were going off.'

And when he realised we had spoken to two other boys, he smiled sadly before walking away.

Later, when we revealed that we are journalists, No 89 claimed he 'knew there was something different about the group'.

Added the 28-year-old host: 'I felt you were special but I didn't realise how 'special'.'

While he professed his eagerness to make a new friend, No 89 declined to be photographed.

He was only willing to share 'stuff that were not trade secrets'.

The hosts don't have a basic salary and most of them are here on social visit passes.

He claimed: 'Those who don't have a permit are told to claim they're customers if there are any checks.'

The real money they make, he added, comes from the garlands and sashes, and the drinks that customers order for the night.

Said No 89: 'The percentage varies from boy to boy, depending on our popularity. The hotter ones get a bigger cut.'

On an average, they can easily earn $3,000 to $4,000 a month.

He added: 'But the really popular ones can make up to even $2,000 a night.'

Not all the men are comfortable with physical flirting or teasing. Jeed, 28, a Thai, spoke of his short and unpleasant stint at the club.

He had worked previously as a singer at the Thai pubs in Chinatown and Golden Mile.

Jeed confided that he 'didn't know what I was getting into' when he signed on for a stint at this club.

But when he realised it was so different from his previous gigs, where he got to sing with a live band and even had dancers backing him up, he said he 'felt bored'.

He later returned to his hometown, Chiangmai.

- Additional reporting from Gan Ling Kai

Lady Transformer

New Paper
12 April 2009


S'porean transforms the Transformers

INSTEAD of looking for a job, Ms Sabrina Ng has decided to play with toys.

And why not, considering that the fresh graduate's fascination with Transformers toys is helping her make a steady income at a time when her peers are finding it tough to get a job.

The business graduate is currently making waves in the local and international toy scene by creating customised versions of Transformers toys.

Each day, Ms Ng, 24, devotes close to 12 hours to give the toys a 'complete make over'.

Other than giving the models a paint job, other aspects she fiddles with are the aesthetic appearance of the hands, as well as adding accessories like shields.



Only recently becoming a fan of the series after the release of the Transformers movie in 2007, she has been customising for a year, with help from her boyfriend, Mr Syed Muzaffar, 26, who is in the fitness line.

'At first, we started customising because of our love for Transformers, and not so much about the money. We never expected all of this to happen,' she said.

With the help of the Internet, and support from noted US toy customisers like Mr Michael Morgan of Action Figure Customs, and Mr Michael Accardi (also known as Frenzy Rumble), Ms Ng has built a name for herself in the international custom Transformers scene.

To date, the highest paid for piece - a 10-inch movie version of Optimus Prime, with accessories - was auctioned off online for about US $1,000 ($1,520).

The six-inch models she works on a regular basis cost about $20 from retailers.

But after going through her precision customisation, the toys usually fetch US$360 after a seven-day period of bidding.

Despite the lucrative returns, Transformers customisation - which she describes as an 'excellent hobby'- is not what she intends to do on a permanent basis.

'I do want to find a job in human resources, making use of my degree, but the job market isn't too good right now, so I'll be doing this for the time being,' she said.

One returning customer, and creator of www.tf.sg, a local website for Transformer enthusiasts, Mr Justin Chua, 27, alerted The New Paper to Ms Ng's work.

He owns one of Ms Ng's work - Hearts of Steel Optimus Prime - and another two are on the way.

'I bought something I really liked, and even though I paid a certain sum for the work, it's really worth it,' he explained.

'They are not something I can get from the manufacturer.'

Ms Ng is currently collaborating with Mr Accardi, an established combiner - the art of combining parts of various Transformers - from the US.


ROBOTS IN HER DISGUISE: (Top) Ms Sabrina Ng, with some of the Transformers models she and her boyfriend have customised. (Above) Painstakingly done by hand, Ms Ng patiently dry-brushes a section of a Transformer. --TNP PICTURES: KELVIN CHNG

When asked about why he chose to work with Ms Ng, he said: 'She has a great eye for detail and her painting skills are top notch.

'I wouldn't trust my custom projects with anyone else.'

The collaboration piece will coincide with the launch of the second installation of the Transformers movie series due out in June 2009.

So it comes as no surprise that her one wish is 'to appear on Transformers 3 in 2011!'

Those who want to find out more about the custom Transformers, can visit Ms Ng's website, http://www.artsylovers.blogspot.com/.

Nude for virtual pets

New Paper
12 April 2009


WHY DID SHE DO IT?

'I like the thrill... It's just for fun'

Some netizens stunned by move; counsellor & psychiatrist wonder if she'll keep promise

By Liew Hanqing

IT SEEMS she is willing to exchange real-life nude pictures of herself for something that exists only in cyberspace - items for her online pet.

Is that all her modesty is worth?

The question doesn't seem to bother the Facebook user, who introduces herself as Ling Er, an 18-year-old Singaporean.


Photo from Facebook

Her offer has drawn some flak, even from other netizens who are blase about such shenanigans.

As one of them put it, she may have taken games addiction and online barter to a new low.

The teenager set up a Facebook group last month to get netizens to give her virtual items for her character in the popular game Pet Society on the networking site.

Birthday suit

The name of her group: My birthday suit contest. (name changed to my pet society page)

To date, some 133 users have signed up as members of the group.

The game, which can be played by Facebook members who download it, allows them to create and play with a virtual pet, buy it items, and pit its 'skills' against those of others.

The object of the game is to acquire as many points as possible.

These points allow players to acquire more virtual items for their pets' homes.

On her Facebook group, Ling Er has appealed to netizens to give her their most valuable Pet Society gifts possible.

She claimed that senders of the best five gifts would get a set of nude pictures of her in return.

They have to do so by 1May.

She has even listed those who have sent the most valuable gifts so far.

The teen wrote on the site: 'I will send you guys pics of me in my birthday suit that I was born with.'

Er, does she mean baby pics, perhaps? Who knows.

But since the group was set up, it has attracted more than 100 members, almost all of them men.

In an e-mail reply to The New Paper, Ling Er said she started playing Pet Society just over two weeks ago, and that she plays the game daily, but for less than an hour each time.

She declined to reveal her real name.

The teen said she had started the Facebook group 'just for fun'.

'Also, I like the thrill and I want more gifts (for my pet),' she added.

Asked if she sensed any danger in sending her nude pictures to total strangers, she replied: 'In this day and age, it is easier to find pictures of this nature online than news updates from around the world.'

And will they really be her own pictures? Well, all we know is that she has already put up some that are supposed to be preview pictures.


Photo from her FaceBook

She claimed that other local women had taken and distributed nude pictures of themselves online with little consequence.

'They're still doing fine,' she insisted.

However, keeping or distributing obscene pictures is against the law.

Ling Er said she has received virtual gifts from more than 10 people in her group.

These include a virtual lamp, guitar and bath tub.

A member of the Facebook group, who declined to be named, said he had joined the group 'for fun'.

He said he had come across the link to the group from a friend's Facebook profile and decided to join on a whim.

'The name of the group sounded interesting, so I decided to have a look. I don't even play the game,' he said.

He added that he found it odd that anyone would offer nude pictures to strangers for virtual items.

'If the items were real, it would be understandable,' he said.

Student Kevin Chua, 16, who is an avid Pet Society player, added he was surprised when a friend told him about the group that had been set up.

He said: 'It's not something you see every day. I just hope she doesn't get into trouble doing this.'

He added that he knew of people who traded virtual items on Pet Society forums and groups on Facebook, but had never seen somebody offering such a deal before.

'It's quite shocking to see what people would do just to get items for an online game.'

Psychiatrists and counsellors that The New Paper spoke to raised their doubts as to whether the promise would be kept.

Gimmick

Said Mr Charles Lee, senior counsellor at Tanjong Pagar Family Service Centre: 'I think she is using sex as the attraction. We don't know if she will give the photos, it could just be a good gimmick.'

However, Mr Lee and Dr Brian Yeo, a consultant psychiatrist at Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre, said that the act only served to reflect her lack of modesty.

Said Mr Lee: 'Assuming that she really sends nude photos, it just shows her low self-esteem. How she does not care about her privacy? It shows that her relationship with this pet is ranked above her own privacy.'

Parents we spoke with also expressed their concern.

Mrs Magdalene Wong, 53, a mother of two, felt that it was worrying such things could be happening on the social networking site.

She said: 'It's quite shocking to know that it's being used in such a competitive way. Other people who see it might decide to do something that may be even worse.'

- Additional reporting by Joanna Hor, newsroom intern

Pick a pet and pamper it

IT is a wildly popular game on social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, that basically involves taking care of a virtual pet.

At the start, you can customise your own pet by choosing its facial features and colour and by naming it.

Next, you will be taken to its house, where you are required to play with it, buy it items and feed it.

The aim of the game is to earn as many 'Paw Points' and 'Pet Society Coins' as possible.

This is achieved by making sure that your pet is healthy, happy and clean.

The status of your pet will be indicated on the right side of the screen by three icons - a heart, a smiley face, and a shower head.

To earn more Paw Points and Pet Society Coins, you should feed, wash, stroke and play games with your pet.

You can also visit others with pets.

As you earn more Paw Points, you will be able to unlock new items that will upgrade the living conditions of your pet.

Coins enable the user to buy new items for the pet or buy gifts for the pets of friends.

You can select the item you want to give and drag it to a gift box.

You can then can select the friend you want to give the gift to.

- Joanna Hor Peixin, newsroom intern