Breaking ties with the bitch who birth me!

This post is not appropriate for those who are filial or think they are filial. If you are anything of the above, please DO NOT read on.

If you read on, it implies that you are in agreement with my terms and conditions. That you would not judge or critise my thinkings and actions. You can keep them to yourselves.

I have disallowed any comments for this post (or maybe any other posts) cos I simply dun give a crap to anyone's feedback or whatever comments to this post.

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I am still feeling tired but better than what I felt earlier this week.

And then came the life drama of the month.

As usual, initiated by my very drama mama or better known to me as the BITCH who birthed me.

To be completed

Flying and Babies

Well, I have always wanted to fly.

Frankly, I think the regulations set by the airline are a bit too strict and rigid. Resign within 24 hours after informing the company that one is pregnant?

Who dares to get pregnant then? Baby on the way means bye bye to the job.

How many can still actually fly after giving birth? Not many.

SO 's sister was a former air stewardess with United Airlines. She wasn't that highly educated and had only "O" levels.

And being a flight attendant gave her more money than she could get being a sales girl or whatever.

And then she got married and pregnant. She was grounded and she never returned to flying. Her pay was halved after she stopped flying and worked elsewhere.

Now she is working in a bank. Not flying ever.

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Today
25 Aug 2008

Baby Bonus has not taken flight?

Why are female crew not entitled to benefits? Pregnant crew can apply for ground jobs, but ...

I REFER to the Enhanced Baby Bonus Scheme, and on behalf of some of my colleagues, would like to ask why the female crew of Singapore Airlines (SIA) are not included in this scheme?

We were also not entitled to the one implemented in 2004.

Female crew who are pregnant have to resign in 24 hours without a guaranteed ground job or leaving perks.

We can only return to work for SIA after two years of giving birth, subject to an impeccable previous work record and if we had maintained our figure well.

After we resign, finding a job on the ground when pregnant is tough. No company wants to employ us as they do not want to pay us the maternity leave packages (I tried when I was pregnant in 2005).

Most of us here see flying as a career. Three-quarters of the flying crew are female. Most of us dare not start a family because of this ruling. I hope something can be done about this.

Ms Vernis Ho

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I REFER to Ms Vernis Ho’s letter regarding the conditions for cabin crew who become pregnant while serving their contracts of employment.

I do need to clarify some points. Firstly, crew who become pregnant must cease flying duties when declared medically unfit to fly by the company’s doctors. Her employment as crew will cease from that time. However, she may apply for an alternative ground job.

The difficulty is that around 300 crew members become pregnant each year, and there are not 300 alternative ground jobs available for them to transfer to. So while this is an option we do our best to provide, we are constrained by the lack of available jobs for such crew.

We welcome cabin crew who have had children back into the flying ranks, and encourage those interested to return as soon as they can after having children so that they can maintain those elements of their training which must be put into practice regularly to maintain their skills.

It is not correct to say that they are only eligible for reappointment after two years. In fact, we have some crew who return to flying in as little as three or four months after giving birth.

Applications for returning crew are, of course, dependent on the crew member’s performance before leaving to have her child.

The conditions of service applied to our cabin crew are made known to them before they join, and form part of their employment agreement with Singapore Airlines. We are certainly conscious of the desire on the part of some, but not all, crew to return to flying after they have given birth, and want to encourage those who had left to give birth to speak to us about the possibility of returning to flying duties.

For those who have good records as crew and maintain an interest in the job, we would be keen to make sure their training can be put into practice again.

Thank you for the opportunity to clarify these issues.

Divisional Vice-President
Cabin Crew Operations
Singapore Airlines Limited

She didn't want me as a daughter

It was so sad. What would make a mother give up on her daughter?

Frankly, I can understand how Vanessa Mae felt. My mother was something like that. She was pushing me to do stuff, and I was prevented from doing things and having a life when I was younger.

I couldn't play with other kids cos it was not safe, not clean, not good influence. That made me out to be painfully shy during throughout my life. Even as an adult. I never did learn proper social skills nor have many friends. Even now.

Up till 18, everything in life was indicated by her. She was controlling and bossy. Yet bitter and frustrated in life. And those frustrations and bitterness passed on to me and "tainted" me.

I was able to get into a good secondary school but she made me went to a mission school near our place. I had managed to get into a school further away then but using her connections, she got her doctor boss to write a letter saying that I was sickly and would benefit from a school nearer our home. But I was not sick and was as healthy as a horse. All lies! That lying bitch!

And I was transferred on that very first day of secondary school. And that gave me depression for years. I was not happy and miserable and I thought of death often.

Imagine a kid at 11-12 thinking of death. Frankly thinking back, I think it was scary that a kid below 16 would even contemplate death at that age. I would be horrified to know someone below 16 already having thoughts of suicide and dying.

It was with difficulties I survived those 4 years in school. And when it was time to select a junior college, I made my own choice. I did not even informed her.

By then it was too late, I was already too infected and "poisoned" with her bitterness and hatred. I had also sort of given up on my life then. A bad beginning had "spoilt" my life.

That decision she made changed my life forever. From a average happy kid, I was turned to a sad, depressed teenager with no life, no friends, who thought of death often. Creepy!

My mother's presence was detrimental to my well being. And being around her was like being in this black hole of negative energy. Nothing good came out of her mouth. She's was always whining and bitching. Always vulgar, always bitter. She's the poison to my delicate soul.

And it took years before I was finally able to break free from her. Moving away from her was a good thing. I felt so calm and peaceful. And tranquil. And I never felt that before. And it was a few months/years of away from her that achieved that.

Today, I am at peace with her. I have lived apart from her for so long, I dun quite remembered living with her. Those I recalled are nightmares.

She is old and a bit more mellow now. I am quite okay with her now. I did not want to have any regrets after her death.

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The New Paper
08 Aug 2008

Vanessa Mae's estranged mum rejects reconciliation with violin star. Vanessa says...

She didn't want me as a daughter

EVEN though violin virtuoso Vanessa Mae became estranged from her mother in 1999 after firing her as her manager, she had always held a glimmer of hope that they would one day reconcile.

Now, one tersely worded e-mail has dashed all possibility of a happy reunion.

Her mother, Mrs Pamela Nicholson, had been approached by the BBC to be part of a documentary on the Singapore-born pop-classical star.

Her e-mail reply? 'My daughter is nearly 30. That part of my life is well and truly over.'

Vanessa told the Telegraph that it was something she had come to expect from the woman who helped to shape her career. 'Judging from the e-mail, it's pretty clear that she is not interested in me as a daughter,' said Vanessa. 'But it wasn't that surprising to me. I think it was more surprising to the BBC, reading the e-mail with me. But I grew up with her, so I know what she's like.'

The revelations were made during the making of a BBC1 documentary series called The Making of Me. One episode focuses on how Vanessa, 29, developed her prowess on the violin.

The episode was aired in the UK last Wednesday.

Following the documentary, Vanessa gave detailed interviews to the British press about how hard her mother, a talented pianist herself, pushed her to be a star.

Vanessa, who is the youngest soloist ever to record the demanding Beethoven and Tchaikovsky violin concertos when she was 13, said her mother never believed that her daughter should have a life outside her music career.

'She thought a lot of things in music were a race,' said Vanessa, who described her mother as intensely competitive. 'Got to be the youngest to record this, to record that. I never thought that was important. We're (musicians) not athletes.'

Vanessa claims that her mother once even told her that her love for her was 'conditional' on her performance as a musician. She told the Daily Mail that her mother used to say to her 'I love you because you are my daughter, but you'll never be special to me unless you play the violin.'

Born in Singapore, Vanessa moved to London when she was three. That was when she said her mother began training her to be a musician. When she turned eight, her mother would take her out of school for half of each day to concentrate on her violin.

AHEAD OF THE CURVE

By the age of 11, she was accepted to the prestigious Royal College Of Music, where she was seven years younger than most of her peers.

Mrs Nicholson then took it upon herself to manage every aspect of her daughter's life, Vanessa said. She controlled everything from Vanessa's bank accounts, to choosing her wardrobe and make-up, to how she spent her free time. Vanessa wasn't even allowed to slice bread because Mrs Nicholson was afraid that she might hurt her hands.

She was also forced to drop all her friends from school because her mother believed that they were distracting her from her music.

Even being ill wasn't good enough to excuse her from giving her best. 'Once, as a teenager, I remember being sick before a show... and the look my mother gave me because I couldn't give 100 per cent was chilling,' she said.

'She'd tell me I'd only get a good husband if I was successful, and she condoned the fact that my music tutors would slap me across the face if I wasn't putting everything I had into my playing.'

By the time Vanessa hit 21, she had had enough and sacked her mother.

For a while, mother and daughter remained on good terms. When Vanessa visited Singapore shortly after the sacking to perform at a private function, she came with her mother.

'We still work really, really well in the career sense. We still share the same ideals and dreams,' she told reporters during that trip. 'We're very tight.'

But, according to the British press, the pair parted ways soon after and have not been on speaking terms since.

Still, the sexy star, who has sold 10 million copies of her albums world-wide, acknowledges that her mother played a big role in helping her get to where she is today. 'It was a hothouse environment and there was a lot of pressure on me, but I think perversely I benefited from it,' she told the Telegraph. 'Kids can be born with potential but unless it's encouraged - pushed, even - I don't think it will ever come to fruition.

'I would not be here today without my mother and she has helped me have a career that I love and to follow a vocation. I am sad that it has been at the expense of my relationship with her.'

She also thanked her mother for her music genes. Her biological father (a Thai man from whom Mrs Nicholson separated when Vanessa was four) wasn't musical, whereas, she says, her mother was the best sight-reader she has ever encountered. 'So (my talent) definitely came from her, if any of it was genetic.'

Vanessa said she had tried to use the making of the BBC1 documentary to reconnect with her mother by inviting her to contribute to it. She had hoped to explore the root of her talent, and find out whether she was born with her musical ability, or whether it was cultivated by her mother's determination for her to succeed.

But that e-mail has caused her to give up hope of ever reuniting with Mrs Nicholson.

Asked if she missed her mother, Vanessa said: 'She has not been around for me to talk to for so many years now. 'But I carry the e-mail she sent to the BBC around with me, and if I ever have any pangs about what our relationship might have been like, I read that and realise it is never going to be.'

I was abused as a child

I was watching this tv documentary on child abuse. And well, I have to admit I was a victim of child abuse.

I was not beaten that often or starved or caned. I was just mentally abused as a child.

My mother was well ....not mentally stable and a lot of her frustrations were vented on me. She would seldom beat me but her words hurt.

They said that sticks and stones may break my bones but words would never hurt me. That is so untrue, especially when you are a young and impressionable child.

Gosh, mother was so insecure and frustrated that her words were so unkind, hurtful and often cruel. And it was dished out on a daily basis. She swore like a fisherman, venomous vulgarities spouting out from her mouth onto my fragile soul, like someone possessed by the devil.

I was young and the words really hurt. She called me stupid, ugly and criticized everything I did. And on such a daily basis and coming from my own mother, I started to believe it. Her words hurt, her words devastated, much more than stones and sticks did.

I also developed an inferior complex. I felt no one liked or even loved me or ever would. I had difficulties making friends. Even now. I was emotionally scarred for life.

Most of my childhood was spent crying over things she said to me. Living with her was like living in hell. Frankly I think I suffered the worst from her verbal abuse. I was the sensitive one. My sister was the pampered, focused one. Dad was the one who learned to ignore whatever came out of mother's mouth.

Till today, I have not quite recovered from the hurtful words that she "instilled" in me since childhood. It was too deeply ingrained and I couldn't quite believe otherwise. Even now.

I attempted suicide thrice. And her words were part of what contributed to my despair and depression.

Yes, words can be a form of abuse. A form of mental and verbal abuse. And mental abuse can sometimes be more lasting than bruises and superficial skin deep injuries. After all, wounds and bruises heal and fade, but not the hurt done to a broken spirit.

Do I hate my mother for the abuse? Not really. But I know I dun love her that much. I couldn't. I just couldn't. I dun blame her. She was just so angry, bitter and resentful. And also miserable.

That's why I, at the very first chance I could, I moved away from home. Her presence was simply detrimental to my well being that I felt I had to distance myself from her.

These days, we spoke on the phones every few months. I dun think I could ever live with her again. Some years back, she asked me to move back. I refused. I would rather lived on the streets on my last resort, but I would never moved back home. Moving home, we would probably kill ourselves within days. Or I would kill her and jump to my death. That's how bad it would be. And I am not exaggerating.

P.S. I dun need therapy. I have accepted what was past and what was done.

Mother called and Revelations about lunch that day

Mother called this morning again. We have talked a lot these few days. More than I ever wanted to.

She said that I should not have told my sister that I went for this and that surgery and that I am going for more surgeries. She said I could give my sister the wrong impression that I had too much money and too vain.

I asked mother if my sister said anything about it. She said no. I told mother, it was only one eyelid operation 2 years back and I only spent $2500 on it. Compared that to the thousands my sister spent per month on herself. Mother and I gauged that sister spent about $1k on car parking, another $1k on car loan repayments, and about $1K or more on food, another $1k on shopping and golf. So how can I compared to her? I dun have expensive taste like her. My personal expenses is less than a thousand a month.

Frankly, I am quite surprised that my mother was open minded about plastic surgery. She wouldn't do it herself but she has no objections about other people doing so. Her friends did it, some of my relatives did it. And mother did not blinked an eye.

Unlike my sister, who believes in natural beauty and that people should not be shallow and superficial ...blah....blah....but lived with what they are given....blah...blah...

Well, frankly we make our own choices and decisions, our lives are not indicated by others. I stand by my choices and dun expect all other people to accept them. But please respect my choices just as I have accepted yours.

I have accepted my sister lavish lifestyle and the choices she made in life.

Mother and I also talked about bringing Bobby to my place soon. She warned me that Bobby pees everywhere. Even on sofa, tables and beds.

We did talked about spaying Bobby. A neutered dog is less likely to mark territories. I am still thinking about it. Bobby is about 8 years old and now is better than never.

Lunch at Raffles Royal China

I had lunch at Raffles Royal China restaurant yesterday
afternoon.

It started with a call from Mother on Monday. I wasn't expecting her to call me so soon
after the last time we chatted a few days ago.

She told me that my sister was treating her to a birthday lunch on Tuesday at Raffles Royal

China Restaurant and that my sister asked if I wanted to come along as well.

Frankly, it has been ages since we three ate together at a table. My sister has been treating Mother to special lunches and dinners on her birthdays.

Normally I am not that interested to go and would turned down such invitation. But my mother is old and how many more birthdays more does she has?

So yeah, against my better judgement, I told her yes.

Mother was not sure about the details so she said my sister would called me later to give me the full details of venue and time.

I had never been to lunch or dinner at any of Raffles hotel restaurants. I am not a gourmet. I have simple taste and dun really believe in expensive food. Frankly, I dun find very much difference between the food at a high class restaurants versus food elsewhere. What people are paying more is for the ambiance and branding.

Anyway, I was curious and did a search online for the Royal China restaurant.

The reviews I read online are mixed. Some said the food were good, others said it was just normal average. Some said the prices were a bit steep. Average prices per diner is about $25 to $45.

Royal China resturant main head quarters are based in London. And the Raffles restaurant is one of their overseas branch in Asia.

My sister called and said she could not contact the restaurant for a reservation. The number she called was unanswered, even after several tries. So she asked if I could tried calling and make the reservation.

I tried calling the number which I got from the Raffles hotel website. No one answered.

Hmm....a 5 star resturant in a 5 star hotel. No one answered the phone. That is considered bad service to me. I mean, dun we expect prompt service from such a restuarant?

So finally after a few tries, I gave up and emailed them using the email address from the website, making a reservation for table for 4. Actually, this was what my sister said. She told me to get a table for 4 so that they would provide a better table and seating position, even though there were only 3 of us.. She also asked me to get a better table. That meant not near the entrance, counter, cooking area etc. She is so damned fussy!

The next morning, I woke up quite late. And somehow, I was dilly dallying till about 1130am.
As we had agreed to meet around 1230 pm or so, I took a cab there.

I have not taken a cab for some time. The cab fare came out to be $13. And out of that, $2 is for ERP charges.

My sister was still at Mother's place when I called her at 1215pm. They had brought the dogs, Bob and Mick to Sentosa this morning.

Anyway, my sister asked me to wait inside the resturant at a table and that she would join me soon.













I walked in the resturant. The ladies at the counter were in cheong sam that was a fading shade of greyish blue(or bluish grey). The place was decorated in bright cyan color m(otherwise known as baby blue). That was one of my favorite colors. But the whole place in cyan? That is really too much! The owner must have really love that color! It was rather like in someone's baby nursery room! But the color is rather peaceful and calming. And the color also reminded me of some china plates and cups.

Anyway, I told them I emailed them last night for a reservation. After checking for a while, they told me they could not find my email. I found out from the name cards, that the number for the restaurant and even the email address provided in the Raffles Hotel website were different.

Sigh...contact data that is not updated. No wonder the numbers I have called went unanswered.

Shame on you, Raffles! Please update your website. 5 star restaurants with this type of online standards? A website is one of the first place that visitors, especially tourists first come into contact with. And if the information provided on the site is incorrect, all that visitors left with is a bad impression.

Yeah...frankly, I was expecting better standards. And I was a bit disappointed.

Anyway, the waitress showed me to a table. The place was near full house. Almost every table was occupied. In times of such inflation, this is certainly good business. If we had came later, I dun suppose there would be a table for us.





I sat there like a fool for about 15 mins. Frankly, I was not that comfortable. Such places just made me uneasy.

The waitress asked if I wanted a drink. She told me today's special was water chestnut drink.

Frankly, it was a good 15 mins before my sister sashayed in with my mother. It has been a few months since I last saw my mother and more than a year since I saw my sister.

Mother looked older, and her skin more sagging. She dun have much wrinkles but her skin was a greyish tone. Makeup? Or just old age?

My sister was slimmer. She had always been voluptuous. But now she is a slimmer voluptuous.





My mother and I are not that fussy eaters so we let my sister make the choices on the food.

She choose xiao long bao, scallops dumplings, shark fins in dumplings with superior soup, steamed prawn dumplings, chives dumplings, char siew buns, egg tarts, fried prawn dumpling, chee cheong fun, cod fish wraps etc. For dessert, I had the chilled mango pudding and she had the orange jelly dessert.

We waited for about 15 mins before the food were served. The serving came steadily, about 2 dishes at one time.

Even after all the food came, my sister said she was still hungry. Mother and I were full though.

I forgot to take photos of the food. It was towards the end of the meal that I remembered. So I ended up taking shots of the interior.

Total costs came out to be $108 for 3 persons, which I think was quite reasonable, but still a bit too expensive for my taste. She paid with the meal with her UOB card, which means there was a further 15% discount.

Frankly, thinking back, the food there did not really have the wow factor. I could not really remembered the taste of lunch. There was no extra yummy fact. I mean, the ingredients especially those using prawns and fish were fresh. The portions were average size. Nothing really stood out.

Service was okay. The waitress was quite polite, attentive and they cleared the plates once they were empty.

We had asked for a table for 4 so from time to time the waitress would asked if the 4th guest was coming. And all my sister could say each time was, "If he comes, he comes". And waved them away. I thought that was pretty cool. But personally, if it was up to me, I would just tell them the guest is not coming. Why bother to fib?

My sister on the other hand liked the food. She thought it was fresh and quite nice. She said she dun like to frequent those cheaper restaurants. She had visited quite a few restaurants and believe in quality value for money. She felt that expensive normally means good quality. She always had expensive taste.

Though it was lunch to celebrate my mother's birthday, there was no birthday card, no presents, no singing of Happy Birthday song. I really missed my Grandma's birthday. When she was in her 60s, the same age as my mother was now, grandma had relatively grand birthday celebrations. Sometimes we ate out, sometimes the daughters and daughters-in-laws cooked. That was a time I get to see all my uncles, aunts and cousins. I really missed those sort of grand celebrations and getting together. I suppose that sort of gathering would never occur again ever since grandma died some years back. Now we only gather during weddings and funerals.

I did not went to lunch at Royal China empty handed. I gave mother a bottle of fish oil, a bottle of primrose oil and 2 dog leases. Frankly, I did not know what to buy for her. I never bought her any birthday presents before. And so i just gave her the fish oil for her health. As for the dog lease, she was complaining some days back about her leases becoming loose.

Mother and I felt the food was average but expensive. We have more simpler taste. We dun believe in expensive food.

Personally I would not visit the place again with my money from my own pocket. I am NOT a cheapo. Maybe if someone treat me for a meal there, I would go. But then I may make other better alternative suggestions. The place was not that memorable or special. Just average.







Now, about what we talked about in the restaurant. My mother asked me if I had a operation on my eyes, earlier during lunch. And that about set the tone for the whole conversation through the meal.

I told her I did it about 2 years ago. About 2 months after grandma died. I told her I saw her a few months after the surgery and asked if she noticed it then. She said yeah, she noticed but now the eyes looked different.

My sister said she noticed too. But she felt the cut were too deep, making it unnatural. Maybe she was not used to my significantly different eyes?

If everyone noticed my double eye lid surgery, HOW COME NO ONE SAID ANYTHING then?

Mother said her colleague had it done 20 years ago and my cousin did it some years back. She did not oppose plastic surgery.

Frankly, I loved my new eyes. I always hated my old single eyelid eyes. And the worse was, one lid was more droopy than the other. So when I went for the surgery, I asked the surgeon to make my eyes the largest possible.

I am very pleased with the results. Nowadays when I looked at myself in the mirror, I dun cringe as I used to. In fact, from hating to look into the mirror, I now dun mind looking into the mirror.

We talked more about plastic surgery. Mother and sister were the conservative types. Both believe in natural beauty and natural aging. I was starting to think if we are even related? Where did these women came from?

Throughout the chat, I was rolling my eyes. They were so...I dun know how to describe them. Both of them dun use moisturiser, or sunscreen or night creams. My mother said she is old and thus dun use creams. She said she believes beauty comes from within and the food we eat. She dun think creams work. *rolleyes*

My sister was too lazy. She said she believes in natural beauty and natural aging. Her skin is still quite good and unblemished, unlike mine. She said she is seldom in the sun and thus never used sunscreen.

Frankly, they were so adamant about using creams. The ways they spoke of creams is like applying poison to their faces. I gave up. They are the only 2 women in the restaurant that did not used moisturiser, I suppose!

I did warned my sister of age spots, liver spots, skin cancer, freckles and pigmentation though. I told her she would regret her choices later in life when all these start to appear.

I told them I was going for a surgery next to pin back my ears. My ears were a bit floppy since young. I looked like Mickey mouse at times.

Mother and sister said I dun need to go for the surgery, that my ears were okay. Yah...this coming from Mother, a woman who told me how ugly I was since young. How my ears were floppy, how my lips small like chicken backside.

The conversation was getting to be straining and uncomfortable. It's like I am defending myself and the choices I made. We are just so different!

My sister smokes, enjoys good food and good living. She loves designer stuff and travelling. She has expensive taste.

For me, I dun have such vices. And I only did a plastic surgery operation once! A double eye lid that cost $2500. That's not being too extravagant as compared to what my sister spent in a month.

Seeing such adverse reactions, I did not tell them I am going for a nose operation this year. All I said was I consulted with a plastic surgeon about my nose and ears and that he advised me to do my ears first.

Mother and sister were horrified I asked the surgeon about my nose. They said it was normal ...blah...blah...natural beauty....blah....natural aging....blah....normal nose...blah...

My mother did said that I probably got this nose cos I loved digging my nose when I was young.
In other words, or her unspoken words, big is okay.

I just got the opinion that both of them thought that only very ugly people go for plastic surgery. And I am NOT ugly enough. Where on earth have they been? It's like they are living in the 70s or the middle ages.

My sister is actually not that bad looking. But with no grooming, no makeup, no skincare and a awful attitude to match, chances of her getting married is very slim. Did I forget to mention that she wants a man who listens to her? Who obeys her and gives in to her every whim?

She is probably going to end up a old maid! And here, I am, attached for more than 10 years. How different are we!

Sigh....frankly, I gave up. I am not seeking their acceptance. I am happy with what I am and the choices I made. No regrets. What they said is not going to make me change my decisions to undergo surgery. I am old enough to make my choices.

After all, I am the one looking in the mirror at the end of the day, not them. I am the one facing my own image, day in day out, not they.

So, it was a rather eventful lunch. Food was okay. I made my choices clear to them and I accepted the choices they made.

Thank goodness, we dun do such lunches often. It is so stressful!

Maybe the next time would be a year later? or 2 years later?

Mother called

Mother called me this morning. I wasn't expecting her call today.

I suppose she remembered what day it was today.

She said that my sister wanted to bring the dogs to the beach next week, which is also my mother's birthday.

She asked if I wanted to bring Bell along. My sister driving her Lexus.

Well....i thought for a while and told her no. Bell wasn't feeling that well these few days. He hasn't been to the beach before, though.

But what can we do at the beach? I am not that interested in a day under the sun and sea.

Frankly, I was in a way touched. She invited me on this special day.

Anyway, we spend the next one and a half hours gossiping about her dogs, my sister and my father.

I suppose that is the closest we would ever get together without grossing ourselves out!

Mother harrassed by foreign workers

Yesterday, I spoke to my mother who told me she was harassed by foreign workers painting her block.

They asked for drinks and money. And shouted "Aunty, Aunty" until she felt threatened. And they were just outside her windows! And she was living in a very high floor unit.

I wrote a complaint email to the town council and this is their response, which I think is too short and simple. Are they really going to do something about it or dismiss it? How are they going to act on it? Just tell off the workers? Would the workers seek revenge out of spite?

I really hope they act on it instead of paying lip service. If I find out that it happen again, I am going to blow this up and go all the way up to higher authorities!

----------------------------------

Thank you for your email. As the area concerned comes under the purview of Marine Parade Town Council, we have, by way of this email, forwarded the matter to them to follow up.

Have a pleasant day ahead.

Best regards
Aljunied Town Council

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Dear XXX,

Thank you for the feedback.

We have noted and will proceed to necessary actions to address the issues.

Regards
Marine Parade Town Council

My sister's Lexus

My sister owned a Lexus. She bought the car last year after testing a few models and finally settled on the Lexus, cos it was roomy. She's not a petite, slim lady but eh..rather voluptuous and the Lexus gave her that extra space.

She bought the car in installments for about $100k. That means she's paying about $1k or more per month, and that's excluding petrol.

Mother said that my sister is regretting buying the Lexus. Petrol costs are increasing, ERP are increasing, car park fees are increasing. And my sister parked her car in a mall, where the charges are several times higher than other car parks. And also her business is not that well this year.

My sister is not a very cautious driver. She is a BITCH on Wheels! On land, she's already a MEGA BITCH and can you just imagine her on WHEELS?

Two years ago, when SO and I drove her and mother home from Grandma 's funeral, my sister said she would never buy a car. She said she was seriously involved in a car accident in UK when she was studying there and nearly died. She herself admitted she got no patience on wheels. And that she's happy taking cabs everywhere.

But last year, mother told me, my sister decided that she wanted to get a car, cos she felt it was cheaper than taking cabs.

And she bought a $100K Lexus cos her business was doing well.

Well, my sister did not have a thrift bone in her body. She buys only expensive branded stuff and somethings she used once and forgot about it. And when she came back from UK, broke and penniless, she used her credit card to the maximum. She eventually ended up with $40k in debt, with no means of repaying. And THAT BITCH ignored all those red warning letters the bank sent her. Repeated reminders and warning letters. She simply did not care.

Anyway, she made peace with father after that and he paid all her debts. And now he's broke! We did not come from a rich family background. My father was a low ranking civil service employee.

Back to the Lexus. My mother said the car, less than 6 months old is now badly dented with lots of scratches. That BITCH just dun care. She dun have any pride in her possessions. She told my mother she just drove wildly especially during curves and bends. Hence the scratches and marks.

Well....frankly, I think my sister is going to die in 2 ways (I am NOT cursing her!). She is either going to die in a car accident, since she drove like a she-demon possessed. OR she is going to die of lung cancer, for smoking a few packs a day.

She does not listen to advice, so no use advising her. I did informed her of the risks of lung cancer. She just said she is aware but she simply enjoyed smoking too much to give it up.

Oh well....

Talking to Mother

It has been a while since I last spoke to Mother. A few months, I think?

It is not something I enjoyed doing. I regarded this as something of a unnecessary chore. But I just cannot deny the fact that she is my mother and the woman who gave birth to me.

I dun know why but this morning I just had the urge to call her and talk to her. Of course a major contributing factor is that my pager service ends on 9 Jul 2008. And since she only had that number of mine, she has no other way of contacting me otherwise.

And then of course, I have to let her know about Gin. Gin was her dog. She bought Gin many years back and was her caretaker for years until I took over.

So I called. With fearful anticipation. She answered.

I told her about the pager and gave her my handphone number. She could not find a pen. So she tried to memorise the number. My number was quite easy to remember. I hope she dun forget. I probably have to call her again in a few weeks time to remind her of my new number.

Then I told her about the death of Gin. She was muted for a short while and then she asked how she died. I told her quite peacefully. We chatted about Gin. Several times I was close to tears but I managed to hold back the tears. The pain was still too raw. I couldn't quite talk about Gin without choking on my tears.

She said she bought Gin from a family in HG after reading an ad in the papers. She said Gin was a silk terrier plus. She forgot plus what.... Anyway, she said Gin was about 4-6 weeks old then. And the family who bought her had a baby or small child so they sold her. And Gin being a puppy was snapping at heels and fingers as she was teething. My mother bought her for $300 only.

Mother shared some of her memories of Gin. Like how she used to snap and bit her heels. How she swallowed all the buttons on her dresses. And how once when my mother was moping the floor, Gin tiptoed on 2 legs around the wet area.

We gossiped about my father, her ex husband. My sister was running a business. And he used to help her. But after some personal arguments, he left.

My sister called father on his birthday in late may and after that, he came back to help her.

But Mother and sister felt he had ulterior motives in doing so.

And then mother told me that her estate area is undergoing repainting. And that the workers one day knocked on her windows, asking for water. She gave them 2 cans of drinks! The worker asked for 3 cos he said there were 3 workers. And then he asked for Kopi!

She at first thought that they wanted coffee. But it turned out they were asking for MONEY! She gave them $4 cos it was partially out of sympathy and partially out of feeling threatened.



And recently, they have opened her windows and asked for more drinks and MONEY! She ignored them and gave them the black face.

I was outraged! I told her to complain to the town council but she was afraid of retaliation. She dared not tell my sister cos she knows my sister would bray for blood. My sister was a lawyer! She feeds constantly on fear and blood.

Anyway, I was simply pissed off. She felt threatened. They could just climbed in and rob her or rape and kill her.

My estate had a similar repaining exercise some months back. The workers made no contact. If they asked for drinks, yeah...I would give them....but asking for money is like extortion! And I dun think it only happens to my mother. Maybe a few households in the block are also being extorted!

So I surfed online and wrote an complaint email to the Town council, without her knowledge.

Below is my email:

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Hi,

I do not know if this block is under your jurisdiction.

My mother is a resident of XXXXX, Blk XXX. The block is presently undergoing repainting.
My mother has told me that the workers painting the blocks are disturbing her.

A few days ago, they asked for drinks. So she gave them some water. And then they asked for kopi. At first she thought they were asking for coffee. But it turned out they were asking for MONEY! She gave them some small change!

And few days later, they opened her windows, knocked on it loudly and asked for drinks again! And they also asked for money AGAIN!

Frankly, I am really appalled at this! They are painting the block and yet they are boldly asking for drinks and money.

I am afraid for my mother's safety. I am afraid they would climb inside the flat and steal money or worse rape her.

I hope that you would do a proper investigation.

I am sorry I am unable to provide the details of her flat unit, cos I am afraid once they know the exact location, they would look her up.

I also hope that when you check with the workers, please do not mention blk XXX.

Thanks.