Monday, September 1, 2008

Sex addiction

This actually reminded me of a joke.

It is kinky when you do it with a feather. It's SICK when you use a whole chicken.

So when is it actually classified sexual addiction? Is it considered an addiction, only when it interferes with work and life?

I read a comment in a forum, a guy wrote that it is addiction only when the sexual activities disrupts daily life. Otherwise it is not considered addiction even if the person has numerous multiple sex partners.

Frankly, I dun totally agreed with that.

I have actually know of some guys who are sex addicts. They have about a different sex partner or more a week. Well, that's about 52 partners a year. And that is a very conservative estimate.

Most actually average about 2-4 partners a week. Which means about 100-200 plus different sexual partners a year.

Gosh, is that normal or ordinary? That is so freakish!

And it is not sexual activities if it does not affects the person life and work?

Stop kidding. 100-200 sexual partners is simply not the norm! It is too perverted and sick. Just because it did not interferes with normal living did not mean it is not sexual addiction.

It is sexual addiction when you cannot stop thinking about it or doing it. It may not interferes and disrupts life but when that is beyond the norms of normal people, it is sexual addiction!

How many people actually have sex with 1oo-200 people in a year! Even one different sex partner a month is not the norm!

I know a friend of a friend who was a sex addict. He was this gay guy who liked to frequent saunas and gyms. Every chance he got and whenever he's free.

And each time, he would have several multiple sexual partners. And he claimed that he used protection in all his sexual encounters.

Now he has Hiv. He was diagnosed last year with Hiv after a bout of sickness. He could not stop his sexual activities addiction and thus contacted Hiv from some stranger in some sexual activities.

Of course, he was full of regrets and remorse for his actions. For the first few months.

And then life was back to normal when he realised that Hiv is not that fatal in the short term and that he was not going to drop dead in the next few years.

His partner (yes, he has a partner for years) said that he refused to eat healthy, take vitamins or even exercise.

And frankly, I suspected that he was going back to his sexual activities. I am not that close to him, so I dun really know for sure.

I mean, could he really curb his sexual urges? Just because he got Hiv did not mean that his sexual urges died with the surfacing of the disease. His urges are still there, his addiction is still there, he is still as horny as hell.

Frankly, most young male adults in some point of their life has sexual addiction. But not in having real actual sex with other people, but more of a pornography addiction.

With the rampant surge of the internet, it is now so easy to view pornographic material online these days. And well, young men are sexually curious. They cannot help it. It's in them, their constant sexual urges.

And they may not be experienced enough to experience multiple sex partners, but that does not stop them from looking at porn contantly.

So when is sexual addiction, an addiction? Only when it affects normal life? Or when is it is not the norm?

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The Sunday Times
31 Aug 2008

Just can't say NO to SEX

Psychiatrists here are seeing more sex-addiction cases, mostly men. Stress can be a trigger for such urges

By Shuli Sudderuddin

Just three years ago, psychiatrists here hardly saw what may be described as sex-addiction cases.

The situation today is different. Three psychiatrists interviewed said they each see two to four cases a year, most of whom are men.

The disorder made the news last week when it was reported that Hollywood actor David Duchovny, 48, most famous for his TV series The X-Files, was seeking treatment for it.

'Before 2005, I saw zero cases. Now I see two or three cases a year,' said Dr Ang Yong Guan, a consultant psychiatrist at Paragon Medical.

Experts said sex addiction is a disorder similar to other addictions and dependencies like alcohol abuse. There is seemingly no genetic cause for it and it may lie dormant in a person for years, only to appear when triggered by stress.

It also commonly occurs in people who are vulnerable to other addictions like drugs. It can take several forms, ranging from a constant urge to view pornographic material to seeking out one-night stands with, say, prostitutes. Some even indulge in fetishes like sex with objects.

Although some addicts have partners, they often seek external stimulation at the expense of their relationships as they may find their partners boring. The affliction becomes serious when one's social life or work is noticeably affected.

Several factors have contributed to the increase in the number of people being identified with sex addiction.

Dr Ken Ung, a consultant psychiatrist at Adam Road Medical Centre under the Pacific Healthcare Group, noted that the Internet has led to chatlines and easily available pornography.

Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre, agreed and cited cases in which addicts were able to satisfy their urges online, from viewing pornography to contacting people for sex. The Internet has also led to more people being caught for their addiction as partners or family members can track the addict's history of visited websites.

The experts said sex addiction is more prevalent in men and that it cuts across social classes.

Dr Ung added: 'It is seen more commonly in men as they are more open than women in dealing with their needs.'

Dr Ang said that people who have experienced abuse or neglect may be more prone to developing sex addictions. 'Often, it manifests in people with shy, introverted personalities who have social anxiety and are under some kind of stress,' he said.

Added Dr Ung: 'People with high sex drives who use sex as a way of coping with life's stresses are also more prone to addiction.'

In women, sex addiction usually takes the form of highly impulsive sexual relationships like one-night stands. Sex addiction can lead to crimes like molestation or the stealing of fetish items like underwear.

There are various treatments, lasting from six months to a year.

Dr Ung uses a combination of medication like anti-depressants and therapy. In the latter, the patient has to imagine his arousing behaviour alongside consequences like getting caught. 'Sometimes, practical methods help. A businessman travelling often can limit the opportunity to stray by arranging to share a room with a male colleague,' he said.

Dr Wang teaches patients to focus on the negative impact of their addictions and helps them identify the trigger factors, which can be anything from low selfesteem to relationship or work stress. It is also important to improve their sex lives with their partners, who they sometimes find sexually boring, he said.

He had a case of a young man who was addicted to seeking commercial sex but seldom had sex with his own girlfriend. The man later learnt that sex with his girlfriend could be more satisfying if he abstained from commercial sex.

He added: 'Sex addiction is probably more prevalent than we imagine because it is less socially acceptable than addictions like drinking or gambling. People are still less likely to seek help.'

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