Saturday, June 21, 2008

The day after

It was the day after. Gin had passed away yesterday. I had woken up as usual and the first thing I did every morning was to look out the bedroom door. Only Bell was there. I was sort of expecting Gin to be there waiting for me to wake up, as she normally did every morning. I was hoping that her death did not happened and that all that happened yesterday was a bad dream.

I walked out of the bedroom, looking for her. I am still in denial. She was not anywhere. After my bath, as I was in the kitchen, preparing breakfast food for Bell, as I did every morning, SO said that as he came back from his morning walk with Bell this morning, he was sort of expecting Gin to be at the main door, waiting for them to come back. His eyes were red when he said this.

I started crying. I am so used to her presence that I was feeling so uneasy with her not around. She has always been around me, following me. Now she is no longer there and I cannot get used to it.

Frankly, I felt all my energy sapped, but I still had a medical appointment in the morning.

I went about all day, like a zombie and my every thoughts were of Gin.

To be continued.

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