There is a new term for older singles still living with their parents. Parasites singles.
In asian countries, singles live with their parents until they got married, which normally occur when they are in their middle or late 20s.
But now, people are getting married later and well, some parents are starting to find that their single children to be something of a nuisance!
In land scarce countries like Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore etc, where rentals are high, living with parents are more economic. Rentals can eat up a huge chunk of the monthly salary income.
Living with parents can very convenient. There are hot cooked meals, fresh clean laundry, minimal housework etc. All these for a minimal parental allowance. Who doesn't want to live with their parents?
I moved out of my parents' place when I was in my early 20s. My relationship with my mother was terrible and extremely stormy. We were quarrelling and screaming at each other almost every day.
And one day, I just had enough. I was just so tired of the negative energy around my mother. So I moved out to get some peace and I never looked back since. And I never really missed home that much.
Initially, living with SO, apart fromy parents was admittedly difficult. There were so many things to be done on my own independence. I had to cook or buy my own meals. I had to wash my own clothes, which was not that difficult once I got a washing machine.
The most difficult part of the loneliness. I dun missed my mother nor her constant nagging and screaming, but I did missed having someone else in the house. And I missed my dog, Gin, the most.
After I moved out, I did found the peace, silence, stuff which I could never get when I was living with my parents. And I grew to appreciate that peace and silence till this day.
And now, I am too spoiled for peace, living without my parents that I would never want to move back home.
My mother did asked some years back. She complained that she was old and there was no one home. She issued veiled threats of falling at home and dying undiscovered.
I did considered. For a moment. And I told her no. I told her so, that I am used to a peaceful life and I did not want to go back to an unhappy life of quarrels and arguments.
I told her, moving back, life would lapsed to as before, and that I would probably kill her and then jump with a month.
I think she understood. I really hope she did. Much as I wanted to move back, I am also aware of the possible consequences.
I needed to be happy for myself. It's time that I lived life for myself and not for her. Moving back would be living for her, not myself.
Frankly, I dun have a good opinion of singles who still lived with their parents after they turned 3o. Shame on them. Men who still lived home then are so mummy' boys. And women are so pampered, spoilt bitches. I absolutely hated that!
Many young women these days dun know how to cook. They dun see a need to. There's always mama and then there is the maid. And getting food here is so convenient, that they would not starve if they did not know how to cook.
SO's brother is something of a parasite single. He is nearly 40 and still lived at home. Well, he did bought the flat though. And his mother did enjoyed her sons living at home.
In fact, she preferred that SO moved home and lived with her too.
SO's brother is something of domestic cripple. He does not know how to cook, do housework, or even wash his own clothes. All of this is done by his mama.
That is so shameful and humiliating. I always wondered aloud to SO, what would happen to his brother once their mother died. I think he would probably be all smelly and living in a slum!
SO 's aunt died about 2 years back. She had 2 children who were about 20 plus. And after she died, the family did not know how to operate the washing machine. They had to call around to ask. These coming from educated youths who are absolutely clueless when it came to doing domestic chores.
I did not know how to operate the washer when I was living with my parents. I never needed to touch one till I moved out. But I learned. It was not exactly rocket science nor a steep learning curve. But I learned to be independent.
That's why I always tell SO to be grateful for the domestic training I provided for him ever week.
------------------------
New Paper
27 Aug 2008
NUMBER OF SINGLES RISING IN JAPAN
Worried parents flock to matchmaking events
REMEMBER this term - parasite singles. It may haunt you one day, if fewer people in Singapore have babies.
Parasite singles is a term coined by a Japanese professor to refer to older single men and women who are still living with their parents.
The problem is so acute in Japan that fed-up parents have taken over the search for a mate. Japanese traditionally house and support their children until marriage, which has usually occurred at a younger age than now.
But as the kids stay at home longer due to job uncertainty and an unwillingness to compromise, panicked parents are flocking to mass matchmaking events at hotels and conference centres, reported The Times of India.
Events have been held in 13 cities with around 6,500 participants.
Marriage agency Office Ann organises such an event. This is how it works. Parents are handed a list of eligible men and women detailing age, background, income and soon. Guests who like the look of a candidate take along photos and CVs of their offspring to other parents sitting in the same hall.
If the parents click, they exchange information and agree to arrange a meeting between their children. Then the hard work of playing Cupid to unsuspecting offspring begins. 'Our son doesn't know we're here, but we hope he'll be pleased,' one parent told the Independent.
'He is just too busy to come by himself.'
Ms Saki Kazoo, president of matchmaking firm Marriage Club Wish Oklahoma, told the Independent that the children often know absolutely nothing about these meetings. She said: 'Parents are so worried about their unmarried offspring that they feel they have to do something.'
Sociologist Masahiro Yamada, who coined the term 'parasite single', said 60 per cent of single Japanese men and 80 per cent of women still live at home and unmarried into their early thirties.
It is one of the highest rates in the world. Prof Yamada says there are 10 million parasite singles of both sexes in Japan, reported the Independent.
Japan's fertility rate fell to a low of 1.25 in 2005, meaning more people died than were born. Without immigration to offset the shortage, the population of 127 million will halve by the end of the century, the government warned recently.
Lazy children to blame?
Prof Yamada blames the parasite phenomenon on lazy children who grew up in luxury to baby-boomer parents, but the problem is more complex.
Millions of Japanese men in their twenties and thirties toil some of the longest hours in the developed world, then spend most of their weekends sleeping, leaving little time to look for partners. Women, meanwhile, shun marriage to overworked men who are seldom around. In the middle are their worried mums and dads, says Ms Kasai.
'Some people are lucky because they find love by themselves,' she told the Independent. 'Others need a little help, from wherever they can get it. That's what we're here for.'
In asian countries, singles live with their parents until they got married, which normally occur when they are in their middle or late 20s.
But now, people are getting married later and well, some parents are starting to find that their single children to be something of a nuisance!
In land scarce countries like Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore etc, where rentals are high, living with parents are more economic. Rentals can eat up a huge chunk of the monthly salary income.
Living with parents can very convenient. There are hot cooked meals, fresh clean laundry, minimal housework etc. All these for a minimal parental allowance. Who doesn't want to live with their parents?
I moved out of my parents' place when I was in my early 20s. My relationship with my mother was terrible and extremely stormy. We were quarrelling and screaming at each other almost every day.
And one day, I just had enough. I was just so tired of the negative energy around my mother. So I moved out to get some peace and I never looked back since. And I never really missed home that much.
Initially, living with SO, apart fromy parents was admittedly difficult. There were so many things to be done on my own independence. I had to cook or buy my own meals. I had to wash my own clothes, which was not that difficult once I got a washing machine.
The most difficult part of the loneliness. I dun missed my mother nor her constant nagging and screaming, but I did missed having someone else in the house. And I missed my dog, Gin, the most.
After I moved out, I did found the peace, silence, stuff which I could never get when I was living with my parents. And I grew to appreciate that peace and silence till this day.
And now, I am too spoiled for peace, living without my parents that I would never want to move back home.
My mother did asked some years back. She complained that she was old and there was no one home. She issued veiled threats of falling at home and dying undiscovered.
I did considered. For a moment. And I told her no. I told her so, that I am used to a peaceful life and I did not want to go back to an unhappy life of quarrels and arguments.
I told her, moving back, life would lapsed to as before, and that I would probably kill her and then jump with a month.
I think she understood. I really hope she did. Much as I wanted to move back, I am also aware of the possible consequences.
I needed to be happy for myself. It's time that I lived life for myself and not for her. Moving back would be living for her, not myself.
Frankly, I dun have a good opinion of singles who still lived with their parents after they turned 3o. Shame on them. Men who still lived home then are so mummy' boys. And women are so pampered, spoilt bitches. I absolutely hated that!
Many young women these days dun know how to cook. They dun see a need to. There's always mama and then there is the maid. And getting food here is so convenient, that they would not starve if they did not know how to cook.
SO's brother is something of a parasite single. He is nearly 40 and still lived at home. Well, he did bought the flat though. And his mother did enjoyed her sons living at home.
In fact, she preferred that SO moved home and lived with her too.
SO's brother is something of domestic cripple. He does not know how to cook, do housework, or even wash his own clothes. All of this is done by his mama.
That is so shameful and humiliating. I always wondered aloud to SO, what would happen to his brother once their mother died. I think he would probably be all smelly and living in a slum!
SO 's aunt died about 2 years back. She had 2 children who were about 20 plus. And after she died, the family did not know how to operate the washing machine. They had to call around to ask. These coming from educated youths who are absolutely clueless when it came to doing domestic chores.
I did not know how to operate the washer when I was living with my parents. I never needed to touch one till I moved out. But I learned. It was not exactly rocket science nor a steep learning curve. But I learned to be independent.
That's why I always tell SO to be grateful for the domestic training I provided for him ever week.
------------------------
New Paper
27 Aug 2008
NUMBER OF SINGLES RISING IN JAPAN
Worried parents flock to matchmaking events
REMEMBER this term - parasite singles. It may haunt you one day, if fewer people in Singapore have babies.
Parasite singles is a term coined by a Japanese professor to refer to older single men and women who are still living with their parents.
The problem is so acute in Japan that fed-up parents have taken over the search for a mate. Japanese traditionally house and support their children until marriage, which has usually occurred at a younger age than now.
But as the kids stay at home longer due to job uncertainty and an unwillingness to compromise, panicked parents are flocking to mass matchmaking events at hotels and conference centres, reported The Times of India.
Events have been held in 13 cities with around 6,500 participants.
Marriage agency Office Ann organises such an event. This is how it works. Parents are handed a list of eligible men and women detailing age, background, income and soon. Guests who like the look of a candidate take along photos and CVs of their offspring to other parents sitting in the same hall.
If the parents click, they exchange information and agree to arrange a meeting between their children. Then the hard work of playing Cupid to unsuspecting offspring begins. 'Our son doesn't know we're here, but we hope he'll be pleased,' one parent told the Independent.
'He is just too busy to come by himself.'
Ms Saki Kazoo, president of matchmaking firm Marriage Club Wish Oklahoma, told the Independent that the children often know absolutely nothing about these meetings. She said: 'Parents are so worried about their unmarried offspring that they feel they have to do something.'
Sociologist Masahiro Yamada, who coined the term 'parasite single', said 60 per cent of single Japanese men and 80 per cent of women still live at home and unmarried into their early thirties.
It is one of the highest rates in the world. Prof Yamada says there are 10 million parasite singles of both sexes in Japan, reported the Independent.
Japan's fertility rate fell to a low of 1.25 in 2005, meaning more people died than were born. Without immigration to offset the shortage, the population of 127 million will halve by the end of the century, the government warned recently.
Lazy children to blame?
Prof Yamada blames the parasite phenomenon on lazy children who grew up in luxury to baby-boomer parents, but the problem is more complex.
Millions of Japanese men in their twenties and thirties toil some of the longest hours in the developed world, then spend most of their weekends sleeping, leaving little time to look for partners. Women, meanwhile, shun marriage to overworked men who are seldom around. In the middle are their worried mums and dads, says Ms Kasai.
'Some people are lucky because they find love by themselves,' she told the Independent. 'Others need a little help, from wherever they can get it. That's what we're here for.'
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