It was so sad. What would make a mother give up on her daughter?
Frankly, I can understand how Vanessa Mae felt. My mother was something like that. She was pushing me to do stuff, and I was prevented from doing things and having a life when I was younger.
I couldn't play with other kids cos it was not safe, not clean, not good influence. That made me out to be painfully shy during throughout my life. Even as an adult. I never did learn proper social skills nor have many friends. Even now.
Up till 18, everything in life was indicated by her. She was controlling and bossy. Yet bitter and frustrated in life. And those frustrations and bitterness passed on to me and "tainted" me.
I was able to get into a good secondary school but she made me went to a mission school near our place. I had managed to get into a school further away then but using her connections, she got her doctor boss to write a letter saying that I was sickly and would benefit from a school nearer our home. But I was not sick and was as healthy as a horse. All lies! That lying bitch!
And I was transferred on that very first day of secondary school. And that gave me depression for years. I was not happy and miserable and I thought of death often.
Imagine a kid at 11-12 thinking of death. Frankly thinking back, I think it was scary that a kid below 16 would even contemplate death at that age. I would be horrified to know someone below 16 already having thoughts of suicide and dying.
It was with difficulties I survived those 4 years in school. And when it was time to select a junior college, I made my own choice. I did not even informed her.
By then it was too late, I was already too infected and "poisoned" with her bitterness and hatred. I had also sort of given up on my life then. A bad beginning had "spoilt" my life.
That decision she made changed my life forever. From a average happy kid, I was turned to a sad, depressed teenager with no life, no friends, who thought of death often. Creepy!
My mother's presence was detrimental to my well being. And being around her was like being in this black hole of negative energy. Nothing good came out of her mouth. She's was always whining and bitching. Always vulgar, always bitter. She's the poison to my delicate soul.
And it took years before I was finally able to break free from her. Moving away from her was a good thing. I felt so calm and peaceful. And tranquil. And I never felt that before. And it was a few months/years of away from her that achieved that.
Today, I am at peace with her. I have lived apart from her for so long, I dun quite remembered living with her. Those I recalled are nightmares.
She is old and a bit more mellow now. I am quite okay with her now. I did not want to have any regrets after her death.
--------------------------
The New Paper
08 Aug 2008
Vanessa Mae's estranged mum rejects reconciliation with violin star. Vanessa says...
She didn't want me as a daughter
EVEN though violin virtuoso Vanessa Mae became estranged from her mother in 1999 after firing her as her manager, she had always held a glimmer of hope that they would one day reconcile.
Now, one tersely worded e-mail has dashed all possibility of a happy reunion.
Her mother, Mrs Pamela Nicholson, had been approached by the BBC to be part of a documentary on the Singapore-born pop-classical star.
Her e-mail reply? 'My daughter is nearly 30. That part of my life is well and truly over.'
Vanessa told the Telegraph that it was something she had come to expect from the woman who helped to shape her career. 'Judging from the e-mail, it's pretty clear that she is not interested in me as a daughter,' said Vanessa. 'But it wasn't that surprising to me. I think it was more surprising to the BBC, reading the e-mail with me. But I grew up with her, so I know what she's like.'
The revelations were made during the making of a BBC1 documentary series called The Making of Me. One episode focuses on how Vanessa, 29, developed her prowess on the violin.
The episode was aired in the UK last Wednesday.
Following the documentary, Vanessa gave detailed interviews to the British press about how hard her mother, a talented pianist herself, pushed her to be a star.
Vanessa, who is the youngest soloist ever to record the demanding Beethoven and Tchaikovsky violin concertos when she was 13, said her mother never believed that her daughter should have a life outside her music career.
'She thought a lot of things in music were a race,' said Vanessa, who described her mother as intensely competitive. 'Got to be the youngest to record this, to record that. I never thought that was important. We're (musicians) not athletes.'
Vanessa claims that her mother once even told her that her love for her was 'conditional' on her performance as a musician. She told the Daily Mail that her mother used to say to her 'I love you because you are my daughter, but you'll never be special to me unless you play the violin.'
Born in Singapore, Vanessa moved to London when she was three. That was when she said her mother began training her to be a musician. When she turned eight, her mother would take her out of school for half of each day to concentrate on her violin.
AHEAD OF THE CURVE
By the age of 11, she was accepted to the prestigious Royal College Of Music, where she was seven years younger than most of her peers.
Mrs Nicholson then took it upon herself to manage every aspect of her daughter's life, Vanessa said. She controlled everything from Vanessa's bank accounts, to choosing her wardrobe and make-up, to how she spent her free time. Vanessa wasn't even allowed to slice bread because Mrs Nicholson was afraid that she might hurt her hands.
She was also forced to drop all her friends from school because her mother believed that they were distracting her from her music.
Even being ill wasn't good enough to excuse her from giving her best. 'Once, as a teenager, I remember being sick before a show... and the look my mother gave me because I couldn't give 100 per cent was chilling,' she said.
'She'd tell me I'd only get a good husband if I was successful, and she condoned the fact that my music tutors would slap me across the face if I wasn't putting everything I had into my playing.'
By the time Vanessa hit 21, she had had enough and sacked her mother.
For a while, mother and daughter remained on good terms. When Vanessa visited Singapore shortly after the sacking to perform at a private function, she came with her mother.
'We still work really, really well in the career sense. We still share the same ideals and dreams,' she told reporters during that trip. 'We're very tight.'
But, according to the British press, the pair parted ways soon after and have not been on speaking terms since.
Still, the sexy star, who has sold 10 million copies of her albums world-wide, acknowledges that her mother played a big role in helping her get to where she is today. 'It was a hothouse environment and there was a lot of pressure on me, but I think perversely I benefited from it,' she told the Telegraph. 'Kids can be born with potential but unless it's encouraged - pushed, even - I don't think it will ever come to fruition.
'I would not be here today without my mother and she has helped me have a career that I love and to follow a vocation. I am sad that it has been at the expense of my relationship with her.'
She also thanked her mother for her music genes. Her biological father (a Thai man from whom Mrs Nicholson separated when Vanessa was four) wasn't musical, whereas, she says, her mother was the best sight-reader she has ever encountered. 'So (my talent) definitely came from her, if any of it was genetic.'
Vanessa said she had tried to use the making of the BBC1 documentary to reconnect with her mother by inviting her to contribute to it. She had hoped to explore the root of her talent, and find out whether she was born with her musical ability, or whether it was cultivated by her mother's determination for her to succeed.
But that e-mail has caused her to give up hope of ever reuniting with Mrs Nicholson.
Asked if she missed her mother, Vanessa said: 'She has not been around for me to talk to for so many years now. 'But I carry the e-mail she sent to the BBC around with me, and if I ever have any pangs about what our relationship might have been like, I read that and realise it is never going to be.'
Frankly, I can understand how Vanessa Mae felt. My mother was something like that. She was pushing me to do stuff, and I was prevented from doing things and having a life when I was younger.
I couldn't play with other kids cos it was not safe, not clean, not good influence. That made me out to be painfully shy during throughout my life. Even as an adult. I never did learn proper social skills nor have many friends. Even now.
Up till 18, everything in life was indicated by her. She was controlling and bossy. Yet bitter and frustrated in life. And those frustrations and bitterness passed on to me and "tainted" me.
I was able to get into a good secondary school but she made me went to a mission school near our place. I had managed to get into a school further away then but using her connections, she got her doctor boss to write a letter saying that I was sickly and would benefit from a school nearer our home. But I was not sick and was as healthy as a horse. All lies! That lying bitch!
And I was transferred on that very first day of secondary school. And that gave me depression for years. I was not happy and miserable and I thought of death often.
Imagine a kid at 11-12 thinking of death. Frankly thinking back, I think it was scary that a kid below 16 would even contemplate death at that age. I would be horrified to know someone below 16 already having thoughts of suicide and dying.
It was with difficulties I survived those 4 years in school. And when it was time to select a junior college, I made my own choice. I did not even informed her.
By then it was too late, I was already too infected and "poisoned" with her bitterness and hatred. I had also sort of given up on my life then. A bad beginning had "spoilt" my life.
That decision she made changed my life forever. From a average happy kid, I was turned to a sad, depressed teenager with no life, no friends, who thought of death often. Creepy!
My mother's presence was detrimental to my well being. And being around her was like being in this black hole of negative energy. Nothing good came out of her mouth. She's was always whining and bitching. Always vulgar, always bitter. She's the poison to my delicate soul.
And it took years before I was finally able to break free from her. Moving away from her was a good thing. I felt so calm and peaceful. And tranquil. And I never felt that before. And it was a few months/years of away from her that achieved that.
Today, I am at peace with her. I have lived apart from her for so long, I dun quite remembered living with her. Those I recalled are nightmares.
She is old and a bit more mellow now. I am quite okay with her now. I did not want to have any regrets after her death.
--------------------------
The New Paper
08 Aug 2008
Vanessa Mae's estranged mum rejects reconciliation with violin star. Vanessa says...
She didn't want me as a daughter
EVEN though violin virtuoso Vanessa Mae became estranged from her mother in 1999 after firing her as her manager, she had always held a glimmer of hope that they would one day reconcile.
Now, one tersely worded e-mail has dashed all possibility of a happy reunion.
Her mother, Mrs Pamela Nicholson, had been approached by the BBC to be part of a documentary on the Singapore-born pop-classical star.
Her e-mail reply? 'My daughter is nearly 30. That part of my life is well and truly over.'
Vanessa told the Telegraph that it was something she had come to expect from the woman who helped to shape her career. 'Judging from the e-mail, it's pretty clear that she is not interested in me as a daughter,' said Vanessa. 'But it wasn't that surprising to me. I think it was more surprising to the BBC, reading the e-mail with me. But I grew up with her, so I know what she's like.'
The revelations were made during the making of a BBC1 documentary series called The Making of Me. One episode focuses on how Vanessa, 29, developed her prowess on the violin.
The episode was aired in the UK last Wednesday.
Following the documentary, Vanessa gave detailed interviews to the British press about how hard her mother, a talented pianist herself, pushed her to be a star.
Vanessa, who is the youngest soloist ever to record the demanding Beethoven and Tchaikovsky violin concertos when she was 13, said her mother never believed that her daughter should have a life outside her music career.
'She thought a lot of things in music were a race,' said Vanessa, who described her mother as intensely competitive. 'Got to be the youngest to record this, to record that. I never thought that was important. We're (musicians) not athletes.'
Vanessa claims that her mother once even told her that her love for her was 'conditional' on her performance as a musician. She told the Daily Mail that her mother used to say to her 'I love you because you are my daughter, but you'll never be special to me unless you play the violin.'
Born in Singapore, Vanessa moved to London when she was three. That was when she said her mother began training her to be a musician. When she turned eight, her mother would take her out of school for half of each day to concentrate on her violin.
AHEAD OF THE CURVE
By the age of 11, she was accepted to the prestigious Royal College Of Music, where she was seven years younger than most of her peers.
Mrs Nicholson then took it upon herself to manage every aspect of her daughter's life, Vanessa said. She controlled everything from Vanessa's bank accounts, to choosing her wardrobe and make-up, to how she spent her free time. Vanessa wasn't even allowed to slice bread because Mrs Nicholson was afraid that she might hurt her hands.
She was also forced to drop all her friends from school because her mother believed that they were distracting her from her music.
Even being ill wasn't good enough to excuse her from giving her best. 'Once, as a teenager, I remember being sick before a show... and the look my mother gave me because I couldn't give 100 per cent was chilling,' she said.
'She'd tell me I'd only get a good husband if I was successful, and she condoned the fact that my music tutors would slap me across the face if I wasn't putting everything I had into my playing.'
By the time Vanessa hit 21, she had had enough and sacked her mother.
For a while, mother and daughter remained on good terms. When Vanessa visited Singapore shortly after the sacking to perform at a private function, she came with her mother.
'We still work really, really well in the career sense. We still share the same ideals and dreams,' she told reporters during that trip. 'We're very tight.'
But, according to the British press, the pair parted ways soon after and have not been on speaking terms since.
Still, the sexy star, who has sold 10 million copies of her albums world-wide, acknowledges that her mother played a big role in helping her get to where she is today. 'It was a hothouse environment and there was a lot of pressure on me, but I think perversely I benefited from it,' she told the Telegraph. 'Kids can be born with potential but unless it's encouraged - pushed, even - I don't think it will ever come to fruition.
'I would not be here today without my mother and she has helped me have a career that I love and to follow a vocation. I am sad that it has been at the expense of my relationship with her.'
She also thanked her mother for her music genes. Her biological father (a Thai man from whom Mrs Nicholson separated when Vanessa was four) wasn't musical, whereas, she says, her mother was the best sight-reader she has ever encountered. 'So (my talent) definitely came from her, if any of it was genetic.'
Vanessa said she had tried to use the making of the BBC1 documentary to reconnect with her mother by inviting her to contribute to it. She had hoped to explore the root of her talent, and find out whether she was born with her musical ability, or whether it was cultivated by her mother's determination for her to succeed.
But that e-mail has caused her to give up hope of ever reuniting with Mrs Nicholson.
Asked if she missed her mother, Vanessa said: 'She has not been around for me to talk to for so many years now. 'But I carry the e-mail she sent to the BBC around with me, and if I ever have any pangs about what our relationship might have been like, I read that and realise it is never going to be.'
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